Make Up Something- Metro's Second Book

 From the National Affairs Desk-

   Hey all, Metro here. The sun is rising and I am very tired. My second book, "Make Up Something," is finally finished. It really has been a labor of love, so now let me bore you with the details.

   I came up with the concept for the second book in winter 2022/23 where I thought it would be kind of cool, not cold, to see if any local writers, musicians, artists, or creepos had any "castaways" laying around, some of their works that may or may not see the light of day. Some people actually responded. After receiving an unexpected 12 submissions (that I read too many times), I sat down and ordered them to create a flow, much like an album or a movie or a five course dinner. After that, I went back and read them again, and then I sat down and wrote a framing/wrap-around story that ties all of them together, a writer's retreat that goes very wrong.

   Each of the submissions were submitted under an alias, but their real names are listed in the post book "credits", but only if they wanted. I took every submission and created a character for them to be included in the main story. There is some truth, some exaggeration, but they are all characters in the main story, and I tried to give every one of them their moment because they took the time to share their works.

   Basically, what I am saying is that you get 14 short stories, poems, essays, etc., along with the main story, the thriller. Some of the submissions were simple one sentence "movie pitches" where the contributor just gave me a premise and then I tuned one sentence into 12 pages. I'll take half the credit for those haha. You will know those chapters when you read them, but the other chapters are just as fulfilling, I promise. It was very fun (and exhausting) compiling, editing, and writing an anthology like this. There is a lot to consume in 145 crisp pages that could be devoured in two sittings.

   "A former model is approached by an old man at the bar with an offer of a million dollars, but only if she killed him."- Alfred Hitchcock Presents, there ya go.

   "A businessman, who is lost, stumbles onto a town, but the town is empty."- Twilight Zone, check!

   "A seemingly comical trip to a Halloween party in Las Vegas turns dark."- Hunter S Thompson and Eyes Wide Shut on Line One.

   "A day in the life...in Spain"- Hemingway, Line Two.

   "A private investigator is in over his head involving a model who is much more dangerous than she seems."-  ???

   These are only a few of the chapters. There are so many more, and all are good and have their place in the narrative, but I don't want to spoil any more. I am very proud of the end result. My first book took me a decade to write, and this one only six months. Granted, I had the help of multiple contributors to flesh out the page count, but everything came together great. I have the upmost respect for everyone who contributed, and I hope that I have created something that gave your words life. This was never meant to be an "art project," oh spare me, but it was meant to be fun, with so many different moods, where you keep guessing until you run out of guesses.

   And for all who don't care for me, I understand, I'm with you, but I'm not making any money off this. I am handling all printing costs through a publisher in Arizona. I will not see your name, address, or any personal information. This is just something that I woke up to in a fever dream as the sun was coming up, and just thought, "Why not?"

Here is the link to buy the book:   Make Up Something by Bryan Metro

Or you could always go back to playing on your phones.

From the Iceman Commeth

Bryan Metro

Hail Zombo or Fail Zombo- The End of the Theater Bizarre Cash Grab

 From the National Affairs Desk-

   Hey all, Metro here. I never expected to hear from JCM Legacy Member -jr on a random Friday morning saying that he had something to post, but he did.

   "What are you going to post about?" I asked, still awake from the night before.

   "Theater Bizarre is cooked. Finished. Toast," he replies, so his post goes up, and you can read it here:

                                                      -jr On Theater Bizarre

All of this hit me in a weird way. I've never been a fan of Theater Bizarre. Just to get it out of the way, it is a cool concept for those that dig the Halloween thing, which I do, who doesn't? But it has always rubbed me the wrong way in that it is overpriced, populated by failed theater kids performing, populated by failed theater kids attending, $7 for a fucking hot dog, and a contest to spot the first non-elitist person of color.

   There are many angles to this story of Theater Bizarre imploding almost as quick as a deep sea dive, but there are even more questions. And I like questions more. Questions are fun. Questions are sexy, and I have so many questions. But before the questions, a brief history lesson...

Theater Bizarre started around 2000, and was held at the MI State Fairgrounds, which by that point was well on its way to being a complete wasteland. In 2010 (decent run), it was shut down by higher up's because of zoning violations, which resulted in a last minute relocation to the Fillmore Detroit. It has been at the Masonic Temple since 2011. Why didn't they stay at the Fillmore, or try to resolve the zoning violations with State Fair? Ahhhh, so many questions.

So jump, flash, cut to 2023, and this gem of a statement comes out:

After wiping away all of my tears, the questions started flying in again...

   If they had to do a last minute relocation in 2010 due to zoning violations, why not make an attempt to relocate in 2023. I mean, it's July, they haven't even gotten around to beg for volunteers yet. There is time. Next question: Why no effort?

Last year, they were double booked as well with Judas Priest, yet it still happened. I think Judas Priest is a bigger scheduling conflict than some jobber comedians. You can read about my coverage of 2022 Theater Bizarre where me and Kentucky Pete walked right in with fake tokens and madness happens at the link                                           Metro Crashes Theater Bizarre

Next question: Why no effort?

   Their sob story explanation is just infuriating. They made the mistake of spouting off numbers, numbers they can no way validate. But this got my attention because I love to know where the money is going. Ask Hamtramck Music Festival. Oh wait, they are a ghost too these days...

   Take a look back at their statement up there. $130,000 "feeding both our crew and patrons." Ummmm, the last 10 years of my timelines have been populated by Theater Bizarre posts asking, no begging, for volunteers. $130,000???? C'mon now, show the receipts. Oh and in regard to "feeding the patrons" here is a copy of the menu from last year...

Next question: So where is the money going?

   $60,000 spent on security. Once again, please list, recommend, support, and most importantly, define where the $60,000 went.

Next question: So where is the money going?

   This one is my favorite, "The Eastern Market Farmer who will lose #15,000 in pumpkin sales." I couldn't stop laughing. So if this pumpkin farmer had 3 guys working for him they could have made $60k if they gave up farming and just worked security? If Theater Bizarre actually cared about the anonymous "farmer" why not post their name so all of the goofs that overpay for this shit can support him? Or maybe.....he just doesn't exist. Anyway, more questions...

So where was the money going?

I can go on, but I'm already fed up. It is high time that this cash grab has been called out. I have friends who have worked with Theater Bizarre (none played tambourine, thank god), and friends who (over) paid to attend, and if they had fun, then I am happy. My mantra is always, "Just have fun, too much fun".

But it is painfully obvious that there is something else in play here. The Masonic may be a part of it, or the Theater Bizarre crew may be a part of it. But if you have a brain, and if the Theater Bizarre statement about the amount of revenue they bring to local hotels, restaurants that don't serve $7 hot dogs, oh, and the also unmentioned sound and lighting "companies", the "legendary" Rocky Peanut Co., some more unacknowledged "production houses", the Uber drivers, and countless other unmentioned businesses.... whew, all of that. All of that up there I just posted being booted from a date or two because of some no-name comedian. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. do the math, Good lord, I'm tired.

To conclude:

Where is/was the money going?

Is this Hamtramck Music Fest 2.0 (taxes)?

Is Zombo not this great and scary and cool creature, but just another cash grabbing pussy?

From the Iceman Commeth,

Dr. Bryan Metro

The Death of Theater Bizarre/ Bye Bye Cash Grabbers/Return of -jr

 From the National Affairs Desk-

Hey all, Bryan Metro here. The National Affairs Desk received a missive from a core member while I was contemplating the death of Tony Bennett, and I immediately hopped to the typewriter and started typing. At the time, I had no idea that Theater Bizarre was dead. We will let -jr take it from there.

Today's local interwebs and avid sharers have brought to my attention that Zombo the Clown and Theater Bizarre are no more, the Hamtramck Music Fest model. They wore out their welcome at the State Fairgrounds and history seems to have repeated itself at Jack White's rehabilitated Masonic Temple, This news crawled into my brain like a chinch-bug, and for once, caused me to take a worldview. My conclusion?

People are fed up.

Is the pendulum finally swinging back? Is everyone finally sick of the freaks and constant whiners? Who would've thought that Kid Rock, and I'm not comparing myself to the Stooges, taking his assault rifle to cases of Bud Light or Jason Aldean, whoever that is, singing about leaving his fucking town alone would be championed? A return to normalcy is on the horizon. Pandemics and forced seclusion tied with social media has made everyone believe that their opinion carries weight, and against all odds and logic, they just might be right.

Example: Metro's (not allowed to talk about it) censorship trial. XYZ made fun of me online, and I don't like it and have emotional damage. Please. Spare me. Grow up. Metro won, by the way.

Common sense goes a long way, and just because someone doesn't agree with you means they are a bigot, misogynist, etc. Difference in opinion and logical conversation are typically promote progress. Look at the Occupy movement, a bunch of whiners, setting up shanty towns in the middle of cities. Goals? Nah, no goals, just whining, while all the others looked down and laughed.

I've digressed a bit, so let me run things back to Theater Bizarre. To me, it's always been the closest thing to a satanic Halloween party with the exception of them touting a statue of Baphomet. They might as well get Sam Smith to perform, oh wait, it has been cancelled.

People are sick of being accepting. Some things should be shunned. Some people might need professional help. Maybe we are headed that way. Maybe not. But there is always a 30 second TikTok of some headcase whining, telling the world it should revolve around them. But, for today, it is Zombo the Clown. Pussy.

Born Evil

-jr

Review of a Fest, Get SCREWed in Corktown, and Elder Abuse in Fat City

 From the National Affairs Desk-

   Hey all, Metro here. Back when I started writing here, way back when, when the Metro Times had a decent weekly preview section that I would steal, and then write my own weekly preview, it was the best of days. It was one of our most popular posts because I just basically ripped on everything, but the acts that "got it" knew that any exposure is good exposure. Flash, jump cut to 2023 and the Metro Times is on life support, just a husk, with a failed editor and interns that only have the mental capabilities to write about dispensaries, or stuff they've seen other, better, writers say on social media. Well baby, the weekly preview is back, Jack!

   Before we get to that, I want to take a minute to give a quick review of the Corktown Summer Music Fest. Despite my fears, last week's fest was a great success. I take all the credit of course, but not really. I was shocked at the turnout, and hope that the charity got some cash. I will go on record saying all of the acts put their "All" into it, all three days. I knew we were in for "something" as loyal assistant Sebastian Owl and I were driving downtown and I get a call from -jr.

   "This thing is packed. I parked on the street. Hurry up!"

   He was not wrong. Parking was tricky. Both the Lager House and Brooklyn 2000 were filled. I find -jr holding court at the bar and proceed to drink responsibly with him. It was local legend Woodman's birthday and he bought me a beer. On his birthday. I felt gross, but it didn't stop me from accepting it, and it was a great feeling to see some old faces, and a few new ones. For a second or two, it felt like old times, a good thing.

   Soon after, our backup, possibly perm, tambourine player Darlene S. arrived, and then another round was ordered. I was impressed with her ability to arrive not covered in theater blood, but I was more impressed that she arrived. She did confess to me that she considered having blood flow from her eyes. I said that blood from the ears would be better, and she gave me the "What Up" face, crazy eyes and tilted head, and then we went to set up.

   Except I didn't. I snuck out to Brooklyn 2000, a venue I had never been to before, where I caught The Hourlies' set. It was good, and the venue was nice and clean. Enough of that. So I went back and JCM 2023 performed our set and it went okay. I only forgot a few words, -jr was back in the saddle, and Darlene S. was great, despite never playing with us before. She even had maracas in addition to a tambourine. Be still, my fucking heart. Since we were the headliners, after our set, we left, and everything went cool, with no headaches, and I woke up to a message, "I went to sleep with a smile on my face, and I just woke up with one." Here was our setlist for the Completists:

Economy

Sonic Egyptian

Virginia Tech

Scatter Lee

Pin-Up Love/Death Race

Carnavoyeur (Queens of the Stone Age cover)

Destination Street

TV Eye (Stooges cover)

End of the World

All of those can be found on Spotify, nerds.

   Both Saturday and Sunday at the Fest were great and well attended. Not to be too positive (because the shadow is about to fall), but it was kind of cool to see newer, lesser known acts playing to actual people. And then, the shadow falls. On to the Weekly Preview.

   I remember back in 2010 it took me 30 minutes to write these previews. Now, the local scene is on life support, so this will be shorter.

   The first show really gives me the creeps. This would be the Rodriguez birthday show at the Cadieux Café, Thurs. July 13th. This has been advertised for over a month, but it just weirds me out. It just seems exploitive, and a little gross. Here is the flyer

The flyer gives the (very wrong) impression that Rodriguez will be playing. This is not the case. He has had health problems recently and there is no way he is playing. But hey, a lot of other people are! Forget the fact that most have zero connection to Rodriguez's history, but some of them are good to great. The Orbitsuns opened for JCM at the New Dodge last year, and Paul Smith of the Strains is one of the most decent humans you can encounter, and can rock. The main issue I have is that the venue/organizers will not in any way confirm that Rodriguez will actually be there. I am talking about the event page, the very least one can do to promote something. The gross, poorly designed flyer (with just as many "sponsors" as acts playing, do the math) implies that he will, but who knows? But hey! It's Detroit! Who fucking knows? Anyway, I guess it is sold out, so their ad-wizard did their job. But take a look at that flyer up there again. Who the fuck is Marz Radio and how do they get second billing? I've never heard of them, never seen them, never had to preview them. What is their connection to Rodriguez? A friend? Relative? Former bandmate? Ohhhhhhh no... they're booking the event. Oh Detroit scene, you never fail to impress me. Moving on. Wait...I couldn't resist...

Sorry, I couldn't resist. I hate giving anonymous commenters their "shine", but this one absolutely hit the mark!

There is also this. These are two separate flyers posted on one of the booker's page. The first one has $10 and the next one $15. Why the change? The lineup never shifted. Do the people who paid $15 get a $5 refund? Once again so very vague, and just a little bit gross. Tell me when I'm lying.

The next show to preview is very bittersweet because the JCM was booked for it, but we had to back out, the first time in a decade we have had to do so. Sure, we've been kicked off of plenty, but have never had to withdraw. This is me at my most sincere, I feel awful about it. The show is Saturday July 15th at the Corktown Tavern, and features Raging Psychos, Woolly, and SCREW. Due to scheduling issues, the JCM won't be able to play with them, which actually probably benefits the show. I never do single show previews, but I have to here because most bookers are kinda scared of us, but they took a chance. We just couldn't make it work, and I am not going to call in E.First or Darlene S. to play tambourine while I try to play guitar like a jerk. Thankfully, the other bands are better than that in that they will actually be there. So! SCREW, Woolly, and Raging Psychos punk rock party, July 15th at Corktown Tavern. And I promise they won't be promoting elder abuse like that Rodriguez show.

The JCM will be back, in some form, at least in book form, very soon. As for live performances, you never know. The world is full of surprises. If the Corktown Summer Fest was our last show, then I am happy with that. But there is a needy, carnavoyeur, part of me that wants to see what a full band JCM can do in 2023/24 with Darlene having a go with the fake blood. I can already picture looking at -jr and him rolling his eyes. But, until then, enjoy the week because the world is full of surprises.

From the Iceman Commeth

The Boy Next Door

Dr. Bryan Metro

2023 Corktown Music Fest- The 11th Hour

 From the National Affairs Desk-

   As the title says, it is the 11th hour, and almost time for the summer in the city version of the Corktown Music Festival. Hey all, Metro here, bringing you one last "hard sell" for the 2023 Corktown Summer Music Fest. You should know the basics by now. Nearly 100 acts across two venues Friday July 7th through Sunday July 9th. The Lager House is Friday only, but with a (vague) afterparty Sunday. Brooklyn 2000 is for all three nights, and is a cool event space in a vintage part of town. I have never been there.

   Wristbands are $20 for a three day pass, and $10 for a single day pass, which isn't that bad considering most local shows these days have a $10 cover just for 3-4 bands. It's called "Value" people, and it goes to a good cause, I think, Girls Rock Detroit!, which promotes creative expression, community awareness, and positive self-esteem. I can't stress how much that last part means. You can look them up here at this link:

Girls Rock Detroit

   For the past few weeks, I have previewed the entire Fest, the only local music entity to do that by the way, and have been for the past half decade, showcasing every act, good or mid, and have done everything I have could to charter hype and raise awareness for the Fest, all for no charge. What did you do this week? These days, a simple post on your band's Facebook page with 100 subscribers isn't going to cut it. These days, you need the most read local music, pop culture, and entertainment blog for over a decade to step in and say, "Hey, maybe check this thing out!" Or you could just go back and read Jeff Milo reposting the same band profiles from acts that are ten years old, but one's that people don't remember (Oscillating Fan Club, anything Craig Brown, anything associated with Third Man Records not named Jack White).

   But you still remember JCM. Well, at least a few of you do. Of course our set at the Fest has been targeted by the lame, boring, and dull "cancel culture" crew, but what these aging artifacts and never-were's will never understand is that we don't care. The value of the JCM was never really about the music (although some of it is fun), or the bodies we drew in. It was always about the word of mouth, the talk around town. And that is still there. So, to all the waterheads out there, keep falling back on your liquid keyboard tears about Queen Kwong, and tax evasion, and pressure cookers filled with local band CD's. We have evolved. We are now the good guys, the babyfaces, while everyone else has become the "No More Fun Club", just happy to be miserable because it's so much easier that way. We are still here. We are preaching fun. We are Still playing Friday, July 7th at the Lager House for the Corktown Music Fest in support of Girls Rock Detroit. I finished my 2nd book as well this week, "Make Up Something". To all the constant complainers, what have You done this week? As for the Fest, be sure to grab your 3 day pass and support all of the local acts donating their time and talent. Get there early. Support the venues. You can check the links below for my previews of every act playing. We will also have the official "Bug JCM Merch Stand"

   And this leads us to the Final Preview, the only preview that matters, but not really, but the only preview that doesn't consist of a lazy Facebook post, "Hey check out my band guys," the only preview that isn't supported by the Metro Times. Oh yeah, them.... If you check the Metro Times website (as of this writing), there is zero mention of the Corktown Music Fest in support of Girls Rock Detroit in their events search. With nearly 100 local music artists involved, how can there be not a single mention of this Fest on their page?

Zero mention of any band playing, zero mention of the charity, zero mention of a Fest featuring nearly 100 bands. This is the best part, they actually have blurbs for events in Port Huron instead (??!!), along with open-mic comedy shows in Hamtramck (??!!). Can we finally put the Metro Times to sleep and send Lee DeVito to Canada, where he belongs, and let him choke on all the smoke. Of course I don't mean that literally, but it is a metaphor for the shit they put out on a weekly basis, just a bunch of failed writers, interns, and has-beens. I have loved watching the Metro Times die a slow death these past few years, going from a once semi-respectable local weekly to what amounts to a Kroger/Meijer circular except instead of meat and fruit ad's it's just dispensaries. At least when the coffin is mercifully closed on that rag, Lee and his college reject staff can always apply for a gig at Nerdist or Huffpost, or go back to fan-boy designing Von Bondie's flyers.. From Motor City Rocks to cratering the only remaining local weekly. Great job amateurs!!! Sorry for the tangent, let's stick the final hard sell for the 2023 Corktown Music Fest July 7-9th, Lager House/Brooklyn 2000.

The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre- Fri. July 7th, midnight, Lager House- Try as you might, and you might just fail, the JCM will be headlining Friday night around midnight. You never know when it could be the last show with core members Metro and -jr. We also have a guest tambourine player, Darlene S. who promises not to cover herself in blood and ruin the stage. We have a crisp 30 minute set lined up, so we can all hit MGM after and watch all the amateur weedheads hit on 18 at the blackjack table.

   So, get out there and support local stuff, stay away from the Metro Times and Port Huron, and check out some new and old acts. I think JCM might be the longest tenured band playing the Fest. That is very scary, and has to piss at least a few people off. You failed. Our work here is done. I tried my best to get the word out. The rest is up to you.

From the Iceman Commeth

The Boy Next Door

Dr. Bryan Metro 

CorkTown Fest Prevue Part 3-Sunday

 From the National Affairs Desk-

   Hey all, Metro here. Well, thankfully, June is over with, and summer is in full swing. I am back with my final part of my 2023 CorkTown Summer Music Fest preview. As stated earlier, this festival benefits something called Girls Rock Detroit, a non-profit (verified), that works with female youth and adults in many different ways. They are also cool with the LGBTQ and Trans crowd, which is probably JCM's #1 demographic these days. Admission is $20 for a three day pass, $10 for a single day pass, or you can just show up with a cheap guitar and say you are playing and get in for free, a technique I have used for multiple Blowouts. All proceeds go to the kids, or else we wouldn't be doing this. Have I ever lied to you?

   We will also have the official JCM Merch Table, with all proceeds going to The Marcie Bug Freebie Foundation. You can pick up event exclusive JCM band member Bud Light products designed by my bootlegging Wizard/Wise Man, Kentucky Pete. Imagine trying to shotgun one of these babies and having me or -jr staring you in the face! We'll probably also have signed cd's, and maybe copies of my debut novel, "The Invisible People" as well. For those who can't make it ("I'm out of town, I have to work, I have the kids, etc."), you can purchase the book here:   The Invisible People

   Before we get to the artist previews, I am excited to announce a second JCM summer show, this one at the Corktown Tavern on Saturday, July 15th. This one will be a beautiful disaster, and also a book release soiree for my second book (who saw that coming?) "Make Up Something". Stay tuned for more details and the hype machine roll out soon.

   Sunday at the CorkTown Summer Music Fest has an early start time at Noon, and is all ages. I'll bite my lip on jokes right now...

Okay!

   All of the acts will be at the Brooklyn 2000 event space which is behind Lager House, and they go until 6pm. But fear not my degenerate drinkers, the Lager House (who is only hosting the fest on Friday) is having a "Fest Afterparty" starting at 7pm. The cover is also $10. I wish I had more info but the event page is filled with so many TBA's that I won't even bother posting the link here. I do NOT know if the $20 three day pass wristband gets you in to the afterparty, though I think it absolutely should. I also do not know where the money is going, although one would hope that it is also going to the Girls Rock Detroit org, which it absolutely should. So far, the only acts announced are something called Bargain World (featuring members of Fen Fen, who I don't know either), and Bitch Kraft, who was scheduled to play Friday for the actual Fest, but aren't playing Friday anymore. Weird. Yeahhh, your mileage may vary on this one kiddos, but hey, support local venues and all!

   Anyway, you know the rules. Each act gets one song/video, and I give a sentence or two of a take on it.

Sunday, July 9th-Brooklyn 2000

Robert Navarre- "Live"- Mostly acoustic covers. Harmless, okay, music.

Marq Andrew Speck- I think his actual band is playing Saturday, so no double dipping. Plus, loses points for the slightly pretentious parlay of the three word name and the spelling of "Marq".

Judy Banker- "Buffalo Motel"- Harmless singer songwriter stuff. Good tone. I thought it was good.

Nick James- "Live"- Harmless country rock. I think Robert Navarre, Judy Banker, and Nick James should form a band. It would save me some time.

Stuart Benbow- "What Can I Do?"- To answer his question, I would join Robert, Judy, and Nick's band I suggested just now.

Hard Luck Pete- "Get By"- That was Kentucky Pete's nickname in college. Add Hard Luck Pete to my Sunday supergroup I will need 10% commission on.

LRAD- Has an online, steampunky (maybe), presence, but didn't find much actual content. Do better.

Madigan's Attic- "Streams of Whiskey"- Still more acoustic, but Irishy. Almost as catchy as JCM's "Pools of Lube".

Widetrack- "Tribal"- Father/Son duo, which is pretty cool. And they are pretty damn solid. I recommend.

KOT Flame- "Live"- They are very polite. The opening song from the footage I saw was pretty good, like late period Gun Club. I liked it.

Arbor- They are also listed to be playing Saturday. I couldn't find anything on them for Saturday's preview either. Stop wasting my time Arbor, and change your fucking name.

Happenstance- I guess this is Robert Navarre from up there's actual band. Double dipping And on the same day! JSB is going to be so jealous.

Zosette and the Groove- "Live"- I always get hives when I see the word "Groove" in a band name. They sound exactly like you would think they would.

dane Doperock- I didn't find much. I did find some hip hop guy with the same moniker. He was pretty awful.

The Pink 50's- "GIMM"- Pretty decent, driving hard rock with a sprinkle of punk. Just a taste. Could do worse.

The Microplastics- Couldn't find anything. Sorry, but it's not my fault.

Cadriane- "Dead Rhythm"- Some electro stuff that wasn't that good, and made me feel old. So, pass.

Miss Paula and the Candy Bandits- "Alphabet Song"- I had fun with this song. It was clever, and a pretty decent rocker. Approved Metro Seal.

No Sin in Eden- "Rainy Day"- Mazzy Starr vibes. Harmless and well done. Cool name too.

Poor Player- "Live"- This could be my nickname in so many ways. But they are a solid country jam band. Vocals could use some work, but who am I to say?

Jackie's Dead- "So Low"- I loved the sax and the overall production. They take this seriously. I liked it, really good song.

   Well, that's it for the full preview. At least it ended on a good note. Sunday looks to be a little more low-key which makes sense because I have a feeling this Fest will skew/draw older and everyone will still be recovering from the JCM's set on Friday July 7th at midnight at the Lager House. And there is nothing wrong with that. I will be right there with you. Until the very end. Have I ever lied to you?

From the Iceman Commeth

The Boy Next Door

Dr. Bryan Metro

 

Corktown Music Fest Prevue Pt. 2- Saturday and Changes

 From the National Affairs Desk-

   Hey all, Metro here. It is time for the second part of my Corktown Summer Fest preview. This one will be taking care of Saturday's slog. Before we get to the band previews, let's go to the Logistics Department.

   Corktown Music Fest takes place takes place Fri. July 7-Sun. July 9 at Lager House and Brooklyn 2000. Lager House is only taking part of Friday, July 7th, but Brooklyn is all three days. The cost is $20 for a three day pass featuring close to 100 bands, some good, some awful, that's the fun, or $10 for a one day pass. All proceeds go to Girls Rock Detroit, a non-profit (verified), designed to help girls deal with growing up loving music, but must be prepared to be hit on or, worse, groomed by a Third Man records employee like Jack White's latest wife. It also benefits LGBTQ and Trans youth.

   But wait! Hold the phone! I just saw that Lager House, who is not participating Sat or Sun is having an "unofficial" afterparty on Sunday. The cost is also $10, and right now only a few bands are attached. One of them, Bitch Kraft, dropped out on Friday, same stage as JCM, which means I wasted time previewing them. I also have no idea if the proceeds from the unofficial afterparty go towards the Girls Rock charity. It could be a cash grab. I will try to find out before the Sunday preview next week. Whatever. Bitch Kraft sucks anyway. On to the bands!

   Of course, we have to recap that JCM is playing Friday, July 7th at midnight at Lager House. I am very excited to say that a super secret practice session took place last weekend, our first in half a decade. It was fun. Our 30 minute set will include songs from every one of our albums, and a few surprises, but you don't care about that. I'll probably forget the words to half of them. We will also be introducing a new, guest, tambourine player because Elizabeth First has become completely unreliable, and is in a time out, and because Girls Rock. And don't forget about the JCM "Bug Freebie Foundation" merch table where you can pick up custom designed bottles of Bud Light featuring members of the band (Keep an eye out for the Queen Kwong variants!). Okay, let's get to Saturday's bands.

You can revisit the Friday preview here:     FRIDAY!

But really, all you need to know is JCM, 12am, Lager.

For Saturday's official schedule you can find it here:    Saturday!

You know the rules: Search the band, one song/vid, quick blurb.

Memphis Hawk- Also playing Friday. Previewed them already. Playing twice? Yikes!

Tom Alter- "Chaos in the USA"- Simple, basic, song, but actually pretty damn good. I listened all the way through. Go seek it out.

That is Joe, This is Dan- "Normal Land"- Guitar and drum combo. Harmless.

Dave Toennies- "Good Luck Charm"- Acoustic singer songwriter. Harmless.

Brett Lucas- "Wrong Place Right"- Allman Brothers vibe. Not bad.

Mike Ward- Do you know how many Mike Ward's are out there??

Yeddie- "Crem"- What the hell was that? A complete acid trip. I found myself laughing multiple times. Just bizarro. Much more entertaining that the failed theater kids at Cult of Spaceskrull.

Barbara Jean Machine- Live on Twitch- Female DJ/vocalist. I can't tell if she is a "pass", "maybe", or a "Jussright", and it really stresses me out. She is playing after Yeddie, so if you are looking for good drugs that day, you know the rules.

Christweasel- "Ain't She Pretty"- More electronic/dub slop. Yeah, the drugs will be everywhere Saturday.

Scum Queens- "Still Hate Everyone"- Yeah me too. They describe themselves as "queer-core from Detroit". Hip hop/screamo stuff. Not my thing.

Galaxy Coney Island- Didn't find anything music related. Could possibly be a food truck. Happy birthday Sadie!

Jackson & the Poolsharks- "Promise Land"- Not my thing, but very well done and well played. Okay, it grew on me.

Alcidae- "Face Reality"- Standard female-fronted rock. I'll pass on facing reality.

Lisa Hart & the Consequences- "Breed"- Nirvana cover at Eloise. It is fun. No issue. Had a mild panic attack when I saw the name thinking it was Lisa Joan and the Consequences because she wants me dead, or in bed.

Hydrogen Jukebox- "Full Throttle"- Basic rock band who seemed to have discovered the Stooges after their reunion albums.

Summer Like the Season- I've previewed them before.

Switchblade Vengeance- Live at Trixie's- Well played rock. Solid.

The 3148's- "Guillotine"- Great song. Lame-O vocals.

The Hail Bop Group- Too much leg work to find content.

TV Blackout- "James Bond"- Rock band having fun.

Narc Out the Reds- "We Real Cool Too"- Lame song. Interesting video. Decent band name.

Arbor- I am not looking this up.

Sisterhood- Too much hassle to search. Get a better name.

Mercury Salad- "Best Guest"- Very professional family band having fun.

CDC Detroit- Didn't find anything. Interesting name. Probably a bunch of pusses.

Vellows- Chris Oliver has toiled in the local scene for years, usually getting snubbed for high profile fests. Now this band plays every week it seems. So either he got himself an agent, gives great head, or hard work really pays off. Find out Saturday.

Werewolves- "Puppets Are Dead"- Decent heavy rock. Somebody wake the singer up.

Death Cat- Live on Tik Tok- Theater kids playing noise. Live on Tik Tok....really??

The Zotz- "Ramrod"- Solid punk rock. Not bed.

Dr. Wolf- "Came So Easy"- Dreamy music stuff.

Ladyship Warship- Previewed multiple times before. Same as it ever was.

Kasino- Too much effort to find anything.

Rob Zinck & the Collaborators- Live- The singer had me cracking up. I'd love to see them at their regular jobs at Subway. Also, they owe me a beer for having to type up their band name at 7am after being up all night.

Short Hair Domestics- "Watch Me Walk"- Pretty solid rock. Well done. I liked it.

George Montrelle- "Here"- Solid singer songwriter. Good voice.

Heat Above- Their FB cover photo terrified me. We should have a raffle to shave that one dude's head. All proceeds go to Girls Rock. Stay off the internet kiddos.

Midnight Proof- "Rough One"- Decent country rock. Well performed and having fun.

Sweet Crystal- Their members are playing twice on Sat & Sun. They are also playing the 7th at Cadieux, thus the typical "local act that supports nobody else unless they are playing the same night". Sweet Crystal can eat a bag of dicks. I'm not even looking them up.

Paxton/Spangler Band- "Milenberg Joys"- Jazzy professionals having fun.

The Characteristics- "Bonus Cart"- I liked the vibe of this one. Very 80's-esque. Vocals are meh though.

Dude- This act has bombed my FB feed with shows and books for months, probably yours as well. They're solid, but this is their preview blurb.

Tino G's Dumpster Machine- Solid music, but I can't stand bands with videos of them just filming around Detroit. So lay, so boring. "Hey look, it's a train!!!" They also have a video with Wayne Kramer. Wayne Kramer sucks, and likes 'em young. That's what I heard.

Harper & Midwest- "Hell Yeah"- Okay song. Catchy chorus. Basic. If you want this preview to be over give me a "Hell Yeah!"

Well, that's it for the Saturday preview for the Corktown Music Fest at Brooklyn 2000. Tune in early next week for the Sunday preview, and in the meantime I will try to figure out what is going on with that weird, out of nowhere, Lager House afterparty featuring those nobodies at Bitch Kraft and a bunch of TBA's. See you soon!

From the Iceman Commeth,

The Carnavoyeur

Dr. Bryan Metro

Corktown Music Festival 2023 Friday Preview + Merch!

 From the National Affairs Desk-

*JCM Lavender Blog Policy: Just a yearly reminder, if you have any serious objections over any content here please go out of you way to contact me, and I will review the complaint and remove it.*

   Well it is once again summer in the city which means it is time for local summer fests!! You know, the one's where you can pop and bop from venue to venue throughout the night and sample around a hundred of the best local bands around. Wait, Blowout is no more you say? I actually knew that. We headlined the very last one. Wait, Hamtramck Music Fest may be gone as well? They are being very very quiet, and most likely finished.

   Thankfully, we have this July's Corktown Summer Music Festival Fri. July 7th-Sun. July 9th! Three day passes are $20 and single day passes are only $10. Nearly 100 bands across only two venues, Lager House and 2000 Brooklyn, which is right behind Lager House I am told. I've never been there. You may think the price point may be a little high, but the close proximity of the venues allows you a better opportunity catching some midnight intruder trying to hijack your car. It also benefits Girls Rock Detroit! Here's a little bit of info from their page. You can view their page here:

Girls Rock Detroit!

-They support empowerment through music programming for girls, non-binary, and transgender.

-Provides a safe space for LGBTQ youth to feel affirmed in their identities, and express themselves through music.

-Educate about social justice and build confidence.

-Help address gender disparity in the music industry.

Sounds pretty cool right? And what better act to have headlining Night One, Friday July 7th at the Lager House than us, the JCM!

I know what you're thinking and it probably starts with, "Oh No!", but leave that be for now, and let's preview the other acts playing on opening night, Friday (Saturday and Sunday will be future posts, so if you are playing then I will get to you...then). You know the drill. I search an act and preview one of their songs or videos, usually the one with the most traffic, but sometimes not. Oh, also, please note that the Lager House is only on Friday, but 2000 Brooklyn is for all three days. I guess Lager has a band from Nevada called Flamingos in the Tree playing Saturday. I previewed them as well, their song "Take Me By the Hand," and it was pretty awful. The video makes them come off as insufferable little poofs. Plus they're charging $20, the same amount as the 'more value' Corktown Summer Fest headlined Friday July 7th by JCM, AND benefits girls, non-binary, and transgender youth and adults. Anyway, on to the previews! For the full schedule, visit their page here:

Corktown Music Fest 2023

Friday July 7th

Lager House

Bitchkraft- Had some trouble finding content on them because there are multiple acts with that name, though they did play the last Punk Rock BBQ. My assistant, Sebastian Owl, is convinced they hate us. Great start!

3rd Degree Burns- "Highway Star (cover)"- They have a school of rock vibe. Can't wait to blow their minds. Pop! Although, they covered "Highway Star" which is cool.

Edison Hollow- "Body's Guest"- Pretty good song. Mild Queens of the Stone Age rip off, but hey, Greg Aubrey made a local career out of it.

The Plutophonics- Live at Tangent- Serviceable band fronted by a torch singer. Think The Firewalkers but with less Shag.

Pink Spit- I didn't find much actual content, but I did see that Johnny Lzr guy that has to be on everybody's friend's page plays with them, along with the geezer from Millions of Brazilians who stole Leah Deal from me.

L.M.I- I found a Facebook page of a band with the same name, but they play all across the country and I still haven't heard of them. They look like a standard metal/rock band. L.M.K if anybody has the inside scoop. That is my preview.

The Incurables- "Detroit Steel"- Well, we have the Romeo Flynn's 2.0. Serviceable and harmless.

Hairy Queen- "French Road"- Basic punk/thrash fronted by some guy who looks like Charlie LeDuff on steroids.

Sonic Smut- "Live as the Muggs"- Hope that their songs are better. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Ace of Wands- "Feminine Values"- Ace of Wands was my nickname in college. Anyway, these kids put some effort into the video, unlike 1000 local bands' vids of them  just walking around Woodward in Ferndale. Oh wait, this act is from Ontario. That explains it.

Jesus Chainsaw Massacre- The Detroit Music Award winning artists Brianna Metro, Elliot First, Petula the Freshman, Wang Yellowslash, and +/-jr can't wait to tickle your ear nipples. We will have a merch table as well. More on that later. Midnight, Friday, July 7th. For charity.

Friday July 7th

2000 Brooklyn

Barker & Broski- "Be My Baby Tonight"- Standard music, well-played and happy. Not as good as Jeff Jarrett's version though.

Kid Cooper Levy- "Kahleesi"- Standard Dylan-esque music, well-played and happy.

Memphis Hawk- "Tonight"- Standard music, well played and happy.

Kate Hinote Trio- "If I Should Go"- Very professional.

Sudden Death Syndrome- "That Face"- Harmless hip hop. Well played and dour.

Boomcat- Didn't find much on them, but they played the last Corktown Fest so they must be okay.

The Hourlies- I promised to be nice. They basically play every show. Not just every fest, but every show. They also have a new bass player. That is my preview. Subscribe to the JCM Gold Pass for all the goods.

Slowfoot- "Day Job"- Decent jam band. They put some effort into the video.

Bruised Reed- "Messed Up"- They seem to play every fest as well. Female-fronted twee rock. Can write a good song.

Whiskey Charmers- Mandatory they play every fest/weekend. I've previewed them before.

Elspeth and the Treatment- "Iconoclastic"- Well played and happy.

Modhouse- Electronic duo. Don't believe they have a DMA, but there's still time.

J Michael and the Heavy Burdens- "Easy Go"- Very professional and happy.

The Vag Arcadia- "Cold Hearted"- They have around the same amount of people as the JCM at full strength. Very professional and happy.

Strength Beyond You- I didn't find much, but while searching I did come across this. So there's that.

7 Layers- "You Got Fire"- Their bio says they are a mix of every genre you can think of. So there's that.

   Okay, that concludes the preview for Day One, Friday July 7th, of the Corktown Music Festival. You may notice that you don't recognize a lot of these acts which is unique. You won't see the likes of Jack White here.

I've spent years of previews complaining about the same acts performing at the same venues and the same Fests, so this is a good litmus test to see if the local scene will come out to try new things. If anything, I'm just glad I didn't have to preview Dear Darkness or The Handgrenades again. Also, it is for a good cause.

   Speaking of good causes let's move along to the Official JCM Merch Table, which also benefits a good cause. While the majority of the event sales are going to Girls Rock Detroit!, the Official JCM Merch Table's proceeds will be going to a different Girl Power cause, the Freebie Foundation. Unlike the Girl Power cause, a non-profit, the Freebie Foundation is totally for profit.

A while back, a local music personality had a health issue involving their liver. Too much drinking for too long finally caught up to them, and they had a medical procedure that also required a steady supply of meds. Thankfully, they made an above average recovery from "Death's Door" and is still creating art and stories to this day.

That person was me.

A while back, a local music personality had a heath issue involving their liver. Not sure what caused it, but thankfully it was corrected. Because, let's be real, even in this satire segment, you never want to see anyone sick, no matter how annoying they are. This person was assisted with over $10,000 through a GoFundMe. I was shocked. When I had my similar situation (which actually had the potential to be worse), nobody set up a GoFundMe, or anything like that. What got me through was the honest love and concern from the Honor Roll. You know who you are.

But, was I a little salty? You bet, and yeah, I probably made my usual "Where did all the money go?" and "Were the proper taxes paid for the funds received?" jokes, both jokey, but honest questions. I no longer care about the answers anymore. Life is too short to dwell on potential scams and grifts. When there's nothing left to do, except enjoy the view. When there's nothing left to do, I just smile. I'm just glad they are in recovery because, let's be real, even in this satire segment, you never want to see anyone sick.

Jump cut a few months, but still a while ago. I get a message whining about my honest questions. That part is fair. Some people are just built to whine. But then it got weird because after acknowledging the $10K gift, they went on to brag about how they get to go to California every now and then for free because of friends and family. And then after that they said that while in California they make thousands of dollars producing records that no one will ever hear. And then, to wrap it up, they had the nerve to ask if I was jealous. I'd post the entire message here, but I do respect private conversations.

So, was I? Sure. Who wouldn't be? Did their response come across as tone deaf and mildly ill-advised stupidity? I would say so. So yes, I am non-binary enough to admit I was a little bit jealous. But I also have lived a charmed life, and I have seen things many would kill to experience. And I earned (most of) it.

What I really wonder is what the majority of the local scene, many of whom are playing this Fest for free to benefit girls, non-binary, and transgender youth, many of whom far surpass many tone deaf has-beens in terms of creativity and especially talent, think about this person benefitting from the hard work of others. I'm sure that many playing this fest would love to have that kind of support that this Bug has gotten through the years. But for some people, it is never enough. There is always the next free vacation. There is always the next free clothes dump.

This is why all the proceeds from the JCM Official Merch Table will go directly to the Freebie Foundation because you can never get enough stuff for free. I'm pretty sure people like that/them won't be at this Fest because it doesn't offer any benefit to them. Well, unless the Fest falls on a week where they are fucking one of the acts playing, but life can be a lottery, and some people are always hitting the jackpot. It would be nice if they showed a sliver of integrity and make a donation to the Girls Rock Detroit thing. Show some courtesy, some sympathy, and some taste. But I wouldn't hold my breath. I'd end up back at Death's Door.

Stay tuned later this month for the Sat/Sun previews, along with a list of items that will be available at the JCM Official Freebie Foundation Merch Table.

From the Iceman Commeth,

Bryan Metro

Corktown Summer Fest- JCM- Revenge of the Giant Face

 From the National Affairs Desk-

Well, it has come to this.....

The JCM has been asked to headline Night One of this July's Corktown Summer Fest. The Corktown Summer Fest is a 2 day, or maybe 3 day music festival on July 7th, 8th, and maybe 9th. Right now only the Friday lineup is set and can be found via a search button. But the most important part of the Friday lineup has just been added. The JCM has been locked into the headlining spot at Lager House at 12 midnight on Friday July 7th. This will be our first show in a year, and second in 4 years.

The Corktown Summer Fest is a festival that benefits something called "Girls Rock Detroit", which I promise to look up before my official festival preview. I checked out the announced acts thus far and was impressed. With all of my festival previews, all I do is whine about how the same acts perform every time, but after viewing the 80+ bands listed for this I can say that I am not familiar with the majority of them. That could be a good thing. New blood. The local scene has been dead for years, and the same bands that play every fest have done nothing to energize it. This is a great opportunity for newer acts to get out there and plant their flag. Time to put the artifacts to sleep.

And that is where the JCM swoops in. I was talking to my valuable assistant Sebastian Owl, and I made a comment that aside from national/label acts, there is no other local act that has maintained the level of interest and notoriety by doing so little as us. I've said it for years, you have your boyfriend with the bad tattoos and even worse beard practicing every week, trying to make a difference, all for the same results, zero. And for (lucky) 13 years, the JCM has come out of hibernation and just given people fits. And we have been consistent. Our first major show was Blowout 2009, all hype. Our last show was the changing of ownership at the New Dodge 2022, packed.

So it has come to this. We will give the rub to all of the newer acts playing this festival by actually promoting it outside of FB event pages. Plus it benefits a great cause, Girls Rock Detroit, which I promise to look up soon. I will also have an official preview once the lineup is finalized.

One final note is that this show will coincide with the release of my second book, "Make Up Something," a thriller focusing on submissions from local artists, musicians, and writers. It's beautiful that some of them are actually playing at the Corktown Summer Fest. The book features over 12 short stories, essays, poems, or songs all tied in to a group of strangers, all with a secret, at a writer's retreat. I hope to have it available during the festival. I work....deliberate. Anyway, here's the first flyer!  Buckle up, and I'll leave you with my favorite line from the upcoming book, "Sometimes things end up like they are meant to be."

From the Iceman Commeth

The Boy Next Door

Dr. Bryan Metro

Clue: A Detroit Compilation. The Island of Misfit Toys

 From the National Affairs Desk-

   The sun is slowly rising and I am smiling, but not because it is another day, I made it, a small victory, but because I have a very exciting announcement/project to make... A New Project.

   

   This project announced itself to me in a fever dream and it will need you, yes You, to help it out. Here is the premise:

The Premise

   I am asking for submissions from local artists, and I stress "Art", for a short story compilation. I want your unused, your cast-off's, your never were's. It can be any form, short story, a song, a poem, a forgotten blog post, a dream. I will take them and tie them all together in a phantasmagoric long-form wrap around story (written by me) which will involve a group of local creative-types, strangers,  assembling at a house that just might be near a beach and maybe at a pool for the purpose of telling stories as the sun goes down. 

   All of the contributors will be under aliases (unless they want to use their names) and it will be written as a modern day "Clue" where things start to unravel and some might disappear. But everybody who submits a piece will have their words intact (although I may spice some of them up).

   This is a serious project, and something not really done before around these parts which will give local artists a chance to see their words in print. It may take a while to edit (I already have 4 submissions before this post goes live) but I think it will be worth it. Most of the submissions are from people you probably know in the local scene along with one guy from Colorado who I have never met. On to The Offer...

The Offer

   What I am asking for is submissions. This is the important part. This is when you need to pay attention. This is Not a troll-job. This is not a scam. It is a legitimate effort to compile a group of wide-ranging local artists' work in one place. The Island of Misfit Toys. Every word submitted will be used, unedited, but some may have added "garnishes" from The Writer here. I am encouraging aliases to avoid any heat (is any remaining?), but if you wish to use your name I will respect that. The submissions could be anything from short stories, to a poem, to a song, to whatever you want it to be. Multiple submissions are welcome. We need to flesh this out. I have a publisher and will be in print once completed. We are not going to make any money off this, but it would be something cool to have in hand, the Physical Copy.

Disclaimer

   This is not a scam, cash grab, or other. It is, on the surface, a way for local artists to maybe get some of their projects, ideas, cast-off's out in the air (but anonymously ho ho ho). I don't care if you like me or hate me (or vice versa), feel free to submit any of your work to bryanmetro1@hotmail.com I promise it will remain anonymous unless you request otherwise. I feel this is a fun, exciting idea/project that could get people talking once March Madness is over. Send your work. Be somebody. 

The Boy Next Door,

Bryan Metro

If a Music Fest Fell in the Woods-Preview of Corktown Music Fest

 From the National Affairs Desk-

Hey all, Metro here. So I guess there's a "music fest" going on this weekend, The Corktown Music Festival. It is mid-week and the first I have heard of it. This possibly might be the worst promoted music festival I have ever tried to preview, and this really sucks because (they say) proceeds go to a good charity, 4 Paws, 1 Heart, an animal charity non-profit (it's legit, I checked). So, on a weekend that was dominated by Blowout way back when, we have 75 bands, multiple vendors, all in one area across five venues. Wristbands are $20 and include admission for both days. Seems like a good deal, an escape, a distraction from train derailments, troublesome Woody Harrelson monologues, and you not being able to read this because you still don't have power. I like it!!

Then why can't anybody explain to me how poorly organized the promotion for this festival is? They are advertising 75 acts along with close to 10 local vendors but can't come up with a single post containing a comprehensive schedule, maybe with a map, so that people paying $20 can maybe ummmmmmm actually plan their night. I am not clicking 60 separate facebook event pages just to piece together a schedule. If I was a band (who aren't getting paid) or a vendor (who aren't making money because NOBODY KNOWS WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE AT) I would be furious. The entirety of the mysterious organizers'' promotion is facebook event pages. There are 10 of them. Add this to each band having their own event page and this is just embarrassing. There are over 60 event pages for this and not a single one contains the full schedule along with the venue locations, and where the advertised vendors will be.

I e-mailed the mystery people organizing this "fest" offering my services but have yet to receive a reply.

I did click on a few of the same cookie cutter event pages to see the acts playing. Another snoozefest. The same bands that play HamFest. 4 Paws, 1 Heart deserve better. So who is playing? How do they sound? Where are they playing? When are they playing? Do they even care? Do they even know where they are playing? Do they even know they are playing? Here are a few. Feel free to seek out the 60+ FB event pages instead of one easily-made event page to get them all...

Sick Smile- Not sure when they are playing.

Choking Susan- Not sure about details.

Burn Maralago- How do these failed theater geeks keep getting booked on these fests. They don't even have a band page. Probably because they have to protect their reputations at their real estate jobs.

The Hourlies- Probably should do a wellness check because they are not playing with Vellows.

Jesus, that's it. I'm not clicking on multiple event pages. If you need to get out, by all means stop in to one of the venues advertised, and play Russian Roulette. You may find a local gem that might be your new favorite band. Or you might run into 1magine who is actually booked for this and may accidentally protest the Fest but on the wrong day because there is no posted schedule.

That's it. That's my preview. My advice. Take your $20 and donate it to 2 Paws, 1 Heart, skip the festival and the same dull recycled local acts, and join me at a Twin Peaks where we can live bet the big games and check out a few hardbodies. Here is a link to donate to the charity. It is a good charity, and much better than Deastro begging for money on social media.

4 Paws One Heart

Local music festivals deserve better, used to be better, and I think there are multiple reasons for the decline, first and foremost the stagnant quality of local acts. It's the same acts, which was the case in the past, but at least those acts were at least interesting to some degree, gave me something to work with. With some soft rumors that Hamtramck Music Fest may be done, there has to be something. And to be honest Choking Susan in 2023 playing at a venue I couldn't even remember, is not the best business model. Sorry for the depressing post. I really tried. Support the charity. Support your roommate's band if you want. It does bring a smile to my face that in the end, I was right all along. Also, if a full lineup page gets posted after I roll this live on 11:45am Feb. 28th, then anybody who says nobody reads this site anymore, then the opinion is invalidated. Have fun. Whatever.

From the Iceman Commeth,

The Boy Next Door

Dr. Bryan Metro