From the National Affairs Desk-
Hey all, Metro here. I never expected to hear from JCM Legacy Member -jr on a random Friday morning saying that he had something to post, but he did.
"What are you going to post about?" I asked, still awake from the night before.
"Theater Bizarre is cooked. Finished. Toast," he replies, so his post goes up, and you can read it here:
All of this hit me in a weird way. I've never been a fan of Theater Bizarre. Just to get it out of the way, it is a cool concept for those that dig the Halloween thing, which I do, who doesn't? But it has always rubbed me the wrong way in that it is overpriced, populated by failed theater kids performing, populated by failed theater kids attending, $7 for a fucking hot dog, and a contest to spot the first non-elitist person of color.
There are many angles to this story of Theater Bizarre imploding almost as quick as a deep sea dive, but there are even more questions. And I like questions more. Questions are fun. Questions are sexy, and I have so many questions. But before the questions, a brief history lesson...
Theater Bizarre started around 2000, and was held at the MI State Fairgrounds, which by that point was well on its way to being a complete wasteland. In 2010 (decent run), it was shut down by higher up's because of zoning violations, which resulted in a last minute relocation to the Fillmore Detroit. It has been at the Masonic Temple since 2011. Why didn't they stay at the Fillmore, or try to resolve the zoning violations with State Fair? Ahhhh, so many questions.
So jump, flash, cut to 2023, and this gem of a statement comes out:
After wiping away all of my tears, the questions started flying in again...
If they had to do a last minute relocation in 2010 due to zoning violations, why not make an attempt to relocate in 2023. I mean, it's July, they haven't even gotten around to beg for volunteers yet. There is time. Next question: Why no effort?
Last year, they were double booked as well with Judas Priest, yet it still happened. I think Judas Priest is a bigger scheduling conflict than some jobber comedians. You can read about my coverage of 2022 Theater Bizarre where me and Kentucky Pete walked right in with fake tokens and madness happens at the link Metro Crashes Theater Bizarre
Next question: Why no effort?
Their sob story explanation is just infuriating. They made the mistake of spouting off numbers, numbers they can no way validate. But this got my attention because I love to know where the money is going. Ask Hamtramck Music Festival. Oh wait, they are a ghost too these days...
Take a look back at their statement up there. $130,000 "feeding both our crew and patrons." Ummmm, the last 10 years of my timelines have been populated by Theater Bizarre posts asking, no begging, for volunteers. $130,000???? C'mon now, show the receipts. Oh and in regard to "feeding the patrons" here is a copy of the menu from last year...
Next question: So where is the money going?
$60,000 spent on security. Once again, please list, recommend, support, and most importantly, define where the $60,000 went.
Next question: So where is the money going?
This one is my favorite, "The Eastern Market Farmer who will lose #15,000 in pumpkin sales." I couldn't stop laughing. So if this pumpkin farmer had 3 guys working for him they could have made $60k if they gave up farming and just worked security? If Theater Bizarre actually cared about the anonymous "farmer" why not post their name so all of the goofs that overpay for this shit can support him? Or maybe.....he just doesn't exist. Anyway, more questions...
So where was the money going?
I can go on, but I'm already fed up. It is high time that this cash grab has been called out. I have friends who have worked with Theater Bizarre (none played tambourine, thank god), and friends who (over) paid to attend, and if they had fun, then I am happy. My mantra is always, "Just have fun, too much fun".
But it is painfully obvious that there is something else in play here. The Masonic may be a part of it, or the Theater Bizarre crew may be a part of it. But if you have a brain, and if the Theater Bizarre statement about the amount of revenue they bring to local hotels, restaurants that don't serve $7 hot dogs, oh, and the also unmentioned sound and lighting "companies", the "legendary" Rocky Peanut Co., some more unacknowledged "production houses", the Uber drivers, and countless other unmentioned businesses.... whew, all of that. All of that up there I just posted being booted from a date or two because of some no-name comedian. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. do the math, Good lord, I'm tired.
To conclude:
Where is/was the money going?
Is this Hamtramck Music Fest 2.0 (taxes)?
Is Zombo not this great and scary and cool creature, but just another cash grabbing pussy?
From the Iceman Commeth,
Dr. Bryan Metro
Posts
6 comments:
Hail Zombo
There is so much more to this story. Has to be. Please pull a Hamtramck Music Fest and take these greedy scums down.
They probably didn't have enough female volunteers to agree to be consensually sexually harassed by management.
This is all false. Everyone wants to make up some drama. In the end they wanted out lobbies. We need our lobbies to function. Judas priest did not need our lobbies. They used a different theater. And that menu doesn't exist. The crew and cast are fed by a catering company over the course of 4 very long days. 3 meals each. We also do not even sell food at the event. The gala has a banquet dinner. And once we move to the Masonic theater the whole experience every stage every prep was built in for that building. Build usually starts in August planning usually starts in March and for you to call the performers failed artist It's kind of funny that we hire professionals from all over the country and amazing local artists that are incredibly talented. This whole article and what you have to say is just a huge insult to the people who actually do count on this event for a job and are very very involved. I think you should really talk to people that have been involved in the event not just a patron or someone who volunteered one year.
Actually, it used to be held across the street from the fairgrounds, on a collection of vacant residential lots slowly aggregated over the years. A bunch of whiners in 2010 complained that they couldn't park on fairground property, and that brought the wrong kind of attention to the event.
You are however spot-on in referencing their ability to relocate at the last minute.
John Dunivant, the creator, claims he has to borrow a million dollars a year from his parents for the startup costs every time he puts this on. Must be nice...
Anon 5:49- If you are so well informed about everything Theater Bizarre why not use your name, or even a cute little play-alias? When you slide down the surface of things, the real truth seems to be that is all a masturbatory cash grab project run by people, well some people, that just might not be that easy to get along with. It come across as cringeworthy when you somewhat brag about bringing in "professionals" from all over the country yet every year (well aside from this one haha) all I see on my timelines are Theater Bizarre posts begging for volunteers. This year they are just begging for tears. Also, 3 meals a day, along with a banquet gala....that's just poor business management. Who is the catering company? Are they anonymous as well? Your comment was very long but ultimately revealed nothing. Just more complaining from the Theater Bizarre camp. Complaining seems to be your specialty. As for John Dunivant, I'm sorry, Kresge Arts Grant winner John Dunivant, I have zero sympathy. I looked up his Kresge arts page and he gloats about "violating an untold number of laws". Real cool. Real edgy! Even better when he has his sycophants comment on my site when they don't get their way ie: when the Masonic realizes that dealing with these privileged theater dorks is more hassle than its worth. Sorry about October, but deal with it, rock and roll.
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