From the National Affairs Desk-
"Nothing, nothing, nothing inside. There's no reason to cry, just fade away like love. And there's nothing I can do, except enjoy the view. When there's nothing I can do, I smile."
Hey all, Metro here with a brief health update, and with a preview of the Spring Corktown Music Festival later this month. As for the health, I need a new liver. This is one is hanging by a thread, no fault of mine ho ho ho. After it goes, so go the kidneys (which are in surprisingly good shape), then the stomach, the big X. So I have to stay sober until at least August, which combined with the local music scene, is a death sentence on its own. There's the health update. Maybe I'll see some of you one more time. Just not at the Corktown Music Fest. That's asking a little too much. "Minutes, seconds, so little time. Give your secrets away, well whisper in my ear. Every living thing will die, from the king of the jungle to butterfly. The only sin is waiting too long. When there's nothing I can do, I smile... I blog."
On to the preview! Unlike the Fake Hamtramck Blowout Laundry Week Fest earlier this month that I could not attend, you know, that one where even the bands who were playing for free didn't even know where the money was going, the Corktown Music Fest is benefitting the mi-icp.orh. They are a 501-3 charity and their IRS 999 is right on their website unlike that Hamtramck Music Festival/Ben's Encore debacle from a few years ago. Another difference is that I only know around 5% of the acts playing at Corktown as opposed to knowing wayyy too many at Fake Blowout.
The Fest kicks off with a free show at the Corktown Tavern on Thursday March 28th. Then for Friday and Saturday it opens up to the normal Fest bar hopping model (though the shows are not staggered so you have to pick one. These will be at the Corktown Tavern, Nancy Whiskey, Gaelic League, and Batch Brewery Co. The Lager House and the space behind it are not participating this year and I have not been able to find out why because of my condition. I believe wristbands are $20. Check the website. As for the band blurbs, I have less patience (and time) than usual so I will be doing one Facebook check and one Youtube check. If I find nothing, yerrrrr out, pop fly. If I find something, I'll give my take. Now, thrill me.
Bark's Tales- Too difficult to find content, just pictures. Bunch of geezers.
Moaning Dwarf- Scottie Stone side project? "Dwarf Rainbow"- GHOST knock-offs but with a budget less than JCM.
Rob Zinck & the Collaborators- "You Then Me"- Basic early '10's pop stuff. Ryan Allen came.
Big B and the Actual Proof- "Red Carpet"- I had no problem with this. Good groove throughout.
Boom Cat- Found next to nothing. Maybe a soundcheck. It was just depressing.
Werewolves- It doesn't help when both the link to your website and new album are dead, or that there are 50 other bands called Werewolves out there. You get a "Try Harder" badge. Pass.
Galaxy Coney Island- "In A Dream"- I've always liked the name of this band. Harmless, jangly stuff.
Elspeth Tremblay & the Treatment- "So Uncomfortable"- I've always found this name pretentious. It is a good song though. The singer just needs to be mic'd better.
The Dirty News- "Midnight Snack"- Something different, like out of an 80's action movie during a vulnerable moment for our hero.
7 Layers- "You Got Fire"- Wow, they include a link to the Fest and their music. Good job kids. Retro stuff with horns.
Bluesdad- "Ain't Hit the Bottom"- Blues Brothers knock off, but just one dude. Not as crazy as Blues Brothers of Central New York.
Cockhorse- Tricky Hit"- Generic noise rock/metal
Bob Housler- "Onion Land"- Simple, but well-played. Needs a tambourine player, just not one of mine.
Angel of Mars- "Live"- Off-tempo, droning stuff. I see they play a lot with the fascists at Small's, and have also played a set with Mazinga, who headlined (ouch). This begs the obligatory pic:
Alvarado Duo- Found nothing on them. How did they even apply?
Demon Breath- "FSN"- Competent thrash metal. Just a little empty. Professional flyer-makers. I also see a show in in Ypsi that nobody will see. Way to stick around and support other local acts, stereotypes.
Henry Walters Band-"Hot To Trot"- I liked some parts of it. I rolled my eyes at others. I'd check them out if I wasn't dying.
No Skull- "Wrong Eyes"- Droning metal/rock that was decent. I liked this. Check 'em out.
Slumlord Radio- "Holy Smokes"- Made an attempt at a video. The song was basic.
Ficus- Found absolutely nothing but stuff on plants. Skip this out.
Jenns Apartment- "Acid Connection"- Pretty basic catchy 90's movie montage stuff. Plus they recently lost a cat. They get a pass. Check them out.
Room 101- "Room 101"- Metal and sludgy. If you like 1990's Metal Sludge magazine you'll dig it.
Matt Bastardson- "Hard Times"- References a Cherles Bronson film. Actually pretty good.
Matt King- This probably won't be happening.
Paul Einhaus Arrest- "Sister Left Town"- Basic, singer songwriter stuff. Okay.
Matt King Arrest- This may be happening.
Hard Luck Pete- "I Love You All"- Basic. It's a song.
Five N Dime Poets- "Wrong Turn"- I enjoyed the hell out of this. Go to their set and call for them to just play this six times.
Concreteslim- "Blue Jeans"- Solid roots rock, nothing more.
Well, I'm about halfway through this sludge, and there are about three bands I would check out. Don't worry, one of them is yours. I'm going to take a minute to work on the lede/outline for my empty hospital thriller. It will be about a couple (not dysfunctional; too predictable/boring) who end up in the ICU of a deserted hospital on a weekday. Bad things happen. I just need a MacGuffin to get them there. Back to the previews. "Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhh"
Cesar Aquino- "One Day"- Solid, well-presented, but not for me.
The Barley Brothers-"The Singin' Hobo"- Paint by the numbers. Well played. That's it.
Mike Ward- As expected, too much time to waste looking.
Innerspirit Project- Just a bunch of photos and event pages for Corktown Fest. I just don't have the time for this.
Joe Kidd and Sheila Burke- "Free Men Alive"- Acoustic rootsy stuff. I have a feeling that Friday at the Gaelic League will just be stuff like like this. This is the rest of the lineup for that night. You look them up: Kat Stein & the Ferals, Stuart Benbow, Central Dogma, Maria Montoya Musk, Ryan Scott & the Creek Hounds.
Well, now we are finally on to Saturday!
Electric Huldra- "Rock N Roll Pariah"- Sounds like 30 songs I've heard before. Still, not bad. Worth a watch.
Choking Susan- These scrubs are still around? I thought she would have turned to dust by now. Sucked then, sucked now.
Float Here Forever- "Live"- Basic rock. Singer needs to be mic'd better. Not bad. Not outstanding....
Well, I'm sorry, but this is the most I can handle. I know I am leaving the whole Saturday lineup off the board so I would like to apologize to any of the bands that did not get a rub, good or bad. Years ago, I said I would stop when this stopped being fun, and it is no longer any fun for me. Maybe part of it is me being sick. I am including the flyer for the Saturday lineup so if you see anything that interests you by all means check 'em out and if not, go in blind and support local music.
I hope to see you again because I really don't want my last post after all these years to be this clunker. In the meantime here are the first two singles off of the next JCM, yet to be titled, record, "Hornets" and "White Hell". They're better than anything up there anyway. Thanks for reading and have fun, but not too much. That's still my job.
From the Iceman Commeth
Dr. Bryan Metro
Posts
6 comments:
I have to say I’m always a little torn when it comes to you. You can be extremely funny, you speak your mind and you’re an excellent writer. And I hesitated sending this because of your health issues as liver and kidney issues are no joke. So my hope is you find a way to get through this difficult time in your life and find peace.
I have to say I listened to the 2 songs you posted with an open mind because you seem to always have an opinion about the music scene in Detroit. At first I thought the songs were supposed to be a joke but now not so much. You’re serious aren’t you? I don’t know what most people think but come on man, these songs are elementary, not original and just basically terrible. Music writing and production are not your band’s forte. If this is good in your opinion, then I can’t trust your view on other bands. You’re really not a music critic. You’re more like a complainer.
Anyway. That’s my 2 cents. I wish you the best with your recovery.
"You’re really not a music critic. You’re more like a complainer." DUUHHHH... Where have you been, Anonymous 8:23? Are you new here? Lol lol lol
Appreciate the well wishes on health and recovery. I will personally forward them on to Metro.
Not that new. I know he can act like a prick which can be funny. But he calls it a music blog. So you would think he would know something about music. But the sounds his band makes are painful to my ears.
Welp, Anonymous... everyone's got an opinion. That's the beauty of it. And this is totally a music blog. JCM is a blog and a band. You must have missed the neon sign flashing the words THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.
By the way... which band are you in? ;-)
Hey fuckface, stay alive.
The blog is entertaining. The music is pretty fucking far from entertaining. I’m not in a band. Tell me, do you listen to their music more than once? Would you buy that trash? Of course not because it sucks.
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