Corktown Music Fest Prevue Pt. 2- Saturday and Changes

 From the National Affairs Desk-

   Hey all, Metro here. It is time for the second part of my Corktown Summer Fest preview. This one will be taking care of Saturday's slog. Before we get to the band previews, let's go to the Logistics Department.

   Corktown Music Fest takes place takes place Fri. July 7-Sun. July 9 at Lager House and Brooklyn 2000. Lager House is only taking part of Friday, July 7th, but Brooklyn is all three days. The cost is $20 for a three day pass featuring close to 100 bands, some good, some awful, that's the fun, or $10 for a one day pass. All proceeds go to Girls Rock Detroit, a non-profit (verified), designed to help girls deal with growing up loving music, but must be prepared to be hit on or, worse, groomed by a Third Man records employee like Jack White's latest wife. It also benefits LGBTQ and Trans youth.

   But wait! Hold the phone! I just saw that Lager House, who is not participating Sat or Sun is having an "unofficial" afterparty on Sunday. The cost is also $10, and right now only a few bands are attached. One of them, Bitch Kraft, dropped out on Friday, same stage as JCM, which means I wasted time previewing them. I also have no idea if the proceeds from the unofficial afterparty go towards the Girls Rock charity. It could be a cash grab. I will try to find out before the Sunday preview next week. Whatever. Bitch Kraft sucks anyway. On to the bands!

   Of course, we have to recap that JCM is playing Friday, July 7th at midnight at Lager House. I am very excited to say that a super secret practice session took place last weekend, our first in half a decade. It was fun. Our 30 minute set will include songs from every one of our albums, and a few surprises, but you don't care about that. I'll probably forget the words to half of them. We will also be introducing a new, guest, tambourine player because Elizabeth First has become completely unreliable, and is in a time out, and because Girls Rock. And don't forget about the JCM "Bug Freebie Foundation" merch table where you can pick up custom designed bottles of Bud Light featuring members of the band (Keep an eye out for the Queen Kwong variants!). Okay, let's get to Saturday's bands.

You can revisit the Friday preview here:     FRIDAY!

But really, all you need to know is JCM, 12am, Lager.

For Saturday's official schedule you can find it here:    Saturday!

You know the rules: Search the band, one song/vid, quick blurb.

Memphis Hawk- Also playing Friday. Previewed them already. Playing twice? Yikes!

Tom Alter- "Chaos in the USA"- Simple, basic, song, but actually pretty damn good. I listened all the way through. Go seek it out.

That is Joe, This is Dan- "Normal Land"- Guitar and drum combo. Harmless.

Dave Toennies- "Good Luck Charm"- Acoustic singer songwriter. Harmless.

Brett Lucas- "Wrong Place Right"- Allman Brothers vibe. Not bad.

Mike Ward- Do you know how many Mike Ward's are out there??

Yeddie- "Crem"- What the hell was that? A complete acid trip. I found myself laughing multiple times. Just bizarro. Much more entertaining that the failed theater kids at Cult of Spaceskrull.

Barbara Jean Machine- Live on Twitch- Female DJ/vocalist. I can't tell if she is a "pass", "maybe", or a "Jussright", and it really stresses me out. She is playing after Yeddie, so if you are looking for good drugs that day, you know the rules.

Christweasel- "Ain't She Pretty"- More electronic/dub slop. Yeah, the drugs will be everywhere Saturday.

Scum Queens- "Still Hate Everyone"- Yeah me too. They describe themselves as "queer-core from Detroit". Hip hop/screamo stuff. Not my thing.

Galaxy Coney Island- Didn't find anything music related. Could possibly be a food truck. Happy birthday Sadie!

Jackson & the Poolsharks- "Promise Land"- Not my thing, but very well done and well played. Okay, it grew on me.

Alcidae- "Face Reality"- Standard female-fronted rock. I'll pass on facing reality.

Lisa Hart & the Consequences- "Breed"- Nirvana cover at Eloise. It is fun. No issue. Had a mild panic attack when I saw the name thinking it was Lisa Joan and the Consequences because she wants me dead, or in bed.

Hydrogen Jukebox- "Full Throttle"- Basic rock band who seemed to have discovered the Stooges after their reunion albums.

Summer Like the Season- I've previewed them before.

Switchblade Vengeance- Live at Trixie's- Well played rock. Solid.

The 3148's- "Guillotine"- Great song. Lame-O vocals.

The Hail Bop Group- Too much leg work to find content.

TV Blackout- "James Bond"- Rock band having fun.

Narc Out the Reds- "We Real Cool Too"- Lame song. Interesting video. Decent band name.

Arbor- I am not looking this up.

Sisterhood- Too much hassle to search. Get a better name.

Mercury Salad- "Best Guest"- Very professional family band having fun.

CDC Detroit- Didn't find anything. Interesting name. Probably a bunch of pusses.

Vellows- Chris Oliver has toiled in the local scene for years, usually getting snubbed for high profile fests. Now this band plays every week it seems. So either he got himself an agent, gives great head, or hard work really pays off. Find out Saturday.

Werewolves- "Puppets Are Dead"- Decent heavy rock. Somebody wake the singer up.

Death Cat- Live on Tik Tok- Theater kids playing noise. Live on Tik Tok....really??

The Zotz- "Ramrod"- Solid punk rock. Not bed.

Dr. Wolf- "Came So Easy"- Dreamy music stuff.

Ladyship Warship- Previewed multiple times before. Same as it ever was.

Kasino- Too much effort to find anything.

Rob Zinck & the Collaborators- Live- The singer had me cracking up. I'd love to see them at their regular jobs at Subway. Also, they owe me a beer for having to type up their band name at 7am after being up all night.

Short Hair Domestics- "Watch Me Walk"- Pretty solid rock. Well done. I liked it.

George Montrelle- "Here"- Solid singer songwriter. Good voice.

Heat Above- Their FB cover photo terrified me. We should have a raffle to shave that one dude's head. All proceeds go to Girls Rock. Stay off the internet kiddos.

Midnight Proof- "Rough One"- Decent country rock. Well performed and having fun.

Sweet Crystal- Their members are playing twice on Sat & Sun. They are also playing the 7th at Cadieux, thus the typical "local act that supports nobody else unless they are playing the same night". Sweet Crystal can eat a bag of dicks. I'm not even looking them up.

Paxton/Spangler Band- "Milenberg Joys"- Jazzy professionals having fun.

The Characteristics- "Bonus Cart"- I liked the vibe of this one. Very 80's-esque. Vocals are meh though.

Dude- This act has bombed my FB feed with shows and books for months, probably yours as well. They're solid, but this is their preview blurb.

Tino G's Dumpster Machine- Solid music, but I can't stand bands with videos of them just filming around Detroit. So lay, so boring. "Hey look, it's a train!!!" They also have a video with Wayne Kramer. Wayne Kramer sucks, and likes 'em young. That's what I heard.

Harper & Midwest- "Hell Yeah"- Okay song. Catchy chorus. Basic. If you want this preview to be over give me a "Hell Yeah!"

Well, that's it for the Saturday preview for the Corktown Music Fest at Brooklyn 2000. Tune in early next week for the Sunday preview, and in the meantime I will try to figure out what is going on with that weird, out of nowhere, Lager House afterparty featuring those nobodies at Bitch Kraft and a bunch of TBA's. See you soon!

From the Iceman Commeth,

The Carnavoyeur

Dr. Bryan Metro