Fear and Loathing On Paczki Day- What is Happening With New Dodge

 From the National Affairs Desk-

   The sun is starting to rise which is usually my cue to lay down and sleep until 3, but I have been stewing all day because the scum also rises, and I am trying to come up with a lede/lead for this post. Ehhh whatever, let's just jump right into it....

What the hell is going on with the New Dodge Lounge in Hamtramck?

Jump, flash cut, to yesterday afternoon, around 3, and I wake up to multiple messages regarding the Metro Times article regarding the New Dodge Lounge housed in our beloved "enclave" of Hamtramck, MI, USA. I groaned, hit the snooze button, screen a call from Kentucky Pete asking when the hell I am going to post the review of the W.A.S.P. show from last year, but I still couldn't fall back asleep. The thought was racing through my head, "What the hell is going on at the New Dodge?"

Okay, so if you are new to the dance, last year the New Dodge underwent a change of ownership. I don't have every single bit of the logistics but basically the booker left and the owners threw up their hands and decided to sell. This was after a D-list nobody named 1magine tried to shut them down because his hip hop showcase was moved. (Update, the waterhead was never heard from again). The owners said, "Fuck this" and sold, the booker took a leave, and then the JCM stepped in to play the final show, and our final show, under the old ownership of the New Dodge.

Full disclosure- I've never had a bad time at the New Dodge. The location is optimal, very close to a JCM staple, Checkers. We have played there multiple times and were always treated well. The below average sound system actually played to our advantages. But we are retired and the times they are a changin'.

Okay, let's cut to the chase. The current controversy is that the new owners wanted to implement a "pay to play" deal, the death knell of anyone who plays music. Bands weren't happy, employees weren't happy, and I'm not happy because it's Super Bowl weekend, the end of football season, and I am writing.

Anyway, even the corpse of the Metro Times decided to write about it, in the most vanilla way possible. To be fair, they basically did most of the leg work for me so I am going to give the link here. I hate linking to the Metro Times because it gives them ad dollars and actually this site probably gets more hits than them anyway, but take a minute to read this. It comes off as fair on the surface, giving all parties a chance to state their case. But sometimes you need to slide down the surface of things. Here is the link (Metro Times, the check better be in the mail):

Half-assed Article

Okay, done? Yes, very vanilla. After ripping on the New Dodge's "reputation" they gave both sides a chance to state their case. That's fine. I have no problem. The business is to make money. What grabbed my attention was some of the direct, published, quotes, that called it "just a misunderstanding". Or was it? This is the point in the game where you should start paying attention.

The Metro Times, despite being a dying entity, did an okay job on their post. It was fair to both sides (a signature of stellar journalism), but they left out one glaring detail. And that is where I swoop in to pick up the scraps. I have acquired the e-mail that was sent from the New Dodge management. Here, have a look. Lavender Blog Exclusive:

Okay, done? Not very vanilla, and a bit to unpack. Here is my issue: I know for a fact that the Metro Times had a copy of this e-mail before they published. They even cherry-pick and reference it. My issue is that the Metro Times posted a direct quote, published, from the co-owner, and I quote, "We are not a pay to play place." despite having an actual document that says (and I quote), "Bands that are booked for Fri. & Sat. have to commit to selling at least 30 tickets; the absolute minimum". And then, regarding the "off-nights", they say, "Bands pay $150 out of pocket or bring their own speakers/equipment for no charge." And then there's this beaut: "They are welcome to put out a tip jar." Ummmm, what? Gross.

With that out of the way, based on the e-mail, how is that not "pay to play"? Why did the Metro Times, who had the e-mail, not at least inquire about the e-mail to produce a completely fair take? But let's face it, the Metro Times is the equivalent of a tapeworm at this point; skinnier than me.

So, we're back at the start. Where/what is the lede/lead? I think it goes both ways. In the article I referenced above, Paul from The Strains, the band that dropped out of Paczki Day, said, "I want to see local venues succeed". I agree. This is not a New Dodge burial. I want them to thrive. I like the place. But this just seems like Tom Gores buying the Pistons and not knowing what to do with it. It sucks because every venue has their issues. Smalls is going to make bank on Paczki Day and this is after implementing a vaccine pass/negative test mandate that was quietly removed despite being open (backdoor/parking lot) during the lockdown.

I want the New Dodge to succeed and I want the new ownership to realize that you are not going to make any money in Hamtramck unless you live in Dearborn and are well versed in real estate. Your best, and safe, bet is just to break even. Create some memories. Ahhhh okay, we have our lede/lead finally:

The local scene is dead. It sucks (the fact, not the local scene), I know, but there is no way you can swing a pay to play paradigm at this point. It is not 2007. The local scene here has been dead probably since around 2016 when we put the stake in the Metro Times Blowout. It is unfair to expect bands that don't promote themselves outside of Facebook posts to rescue it. There are bands out there that are trying, god bless them, like The Strains, who seem to play every fucking weekend and pollute my timeline, and then there's the Hourlies and Vellows who have a clause that they can only play with each other (no pun), but the reality is this is stagnant. Who is going to rise up? JSB? He's had 7 opportunities to break through. Swing, miss. Ryan Allen has been writing the same song for the past ten years. Woodman is lovable but a novelty regulated to doing pop-up shows, Jack moved out of town, and Jason is working in real estate.

So where does that leave us? Easy answer: The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre. Here is the call to action. New Dodge, by now I know I have your attention. Let's put it to the test. JCM on a Friday or Saturday. We're not selling any tickets. We wouldn't be able to sell 30 anyway, but if you pack the lineup, we will waive our appearance fee, especially since we are retired. It worked out well with the Orbitsuns. We're not selling shit, but what I can offer you is word of mouth. That is what I am giving you here, and that just might be more valuable than a drink ticket.

So to close, Metro Times grow a pair, local acts for god's sake do better, New Dodge sort it out, and for one more time....Best in the Woooorrrld.

From the Iceman Commeth,

The Boy Next Door

Dr. Bryan Metro