Emergency Missive from the National Affairs Desk-
Hope everything is alright.............................
Hope everything is alright......................
I think this will draw more than one lone protestor who decided to protest on a day they were fucking closed. But it doesn't matter now. Just come and luv me just like the way you used to do.
*Update- So anything going on lately? I'm out of the loop. J/K lol lmao. JCM has never been a political band (aside from "Economy", "American Dream," few other tracks) so we will be staying away from the recent Roe V. Wade thing, though it can be said that is a more "human rights" issue. There are passionate people everywhere, on both sides, and the last thing the JCM want to do is polarize people so at the show at the New Dodge this Saturday at 8pm there will absolutely be no stunt or social commentary.
That said, I do have to point out that as recently as 2018 some members of the band have leaned towards Pro-Choice, specifically at our first "Final Show" where E 1 cosplayed as Sharon Tate and pretended to die on Allen Road, and was actually quite accurate at it after reviewing photos years later; photo below is the recreation; nothing is real. Now is all we have. May you all make the most of it.
It's good to see you again.....
So anyway, there has been a lot of haze surrounding Hamtramck's New Dodge Lounge the past week regarding so many "2022 things" that are pretty much boring. Go find a national news site to suck on that neck. Spoiler alert: It's just people complaining. I believe there was a protest, while the venue was not open, which is hilarious, because who would they be protesting to? The bum outside of Checkers across the street?
Is the W.A.B. closed too? I drove by the other day and it was closed closed closed. I haven't been there since 2014 where I jokingly asked for a Miller High Life and was given the dirtiest look by a girl who really wasn't in the league of giving anybody, especially Me, a dirty look. Their recent social media staff photo posts suggests they don't employ anybody of color there (which I have joked about here, but also wanted to raise awareness to). Maybe they encountered a more successful protest in this age of social media? What is happening here?
The funny part is that everybody complaining and whining about venues they have never been at amounted to nothing. Well maybe some of them have played there, probably a gift. But the fact that the New Dodge has been dragged under the bus because acts they booked can't draw or their clientele ends up causing a fight has caused some people to say "It's not worth it anymore" and that is probably right but anyway, because I am a fair journalist there has some been some chatter about stuff that I can't control. I'll leave it at that. Oh wait!!!
So the only way to get to the bottom of this is to book the last JCM show at the last show at the New Dodge. You need to stop and consider this. The history of this cursed act has always been "going big" or going home. So the protest against nobody nobody got 1 person. This has been verified in since-deleted social media posts by the lone warrior. Great job. June 25th, JCM retirement show, a one venue show, called the "We Don't Have Motivation To Show Up" tour. At the New Dodge. Right now we have lead vocal-dude Bryan Metro and lead tambourine player Elizabeth First confirmed and working on original members who are all ""50/50". This is something you should keep on your radar.
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From the Iceman Commeth,
Dr. Bryan Metro
Posts
23 comments:
The flyers......
Good job on the flyers. Are The Orbituns an Orbitsuns cover band?
They are not. But they are a Hip In Detroit tribute act.
Do you actually know what are on those film reels? You should just skip playing live (nobody cares about your music) and play a JCM mixtape and show the film reels. Let the stoner play the triangle and just show them.
Sorry. That idea was already floated earlier, and yes, it is a very good one, but you get second place.
The venue is not promoting this.
Fake and gay.
Wasn't Elizabeth First supposed to be an underwear model? What happened? Too much baby damage?
How is it fake?
How is it gay in the year of 2022?
Elizabeth was indeed a model. She wears underwear sometimes and sometimes she doesn't. Let's talk about you. What happened with your act? Too much apathy? Thanks for reading!! And for a long time. Long long time.
You're the last blog left. I ran out of choices.
I'm opening for Ryan Allen. Didn't you know?
Will you give away cats at your next show?
Will the tshirt guy make some commemorative tshirts for the occasion?
"The last blog left." That one kinda stings. Hits hard, but also true. I feel bad for snapping at you earlier now. Add in to this the fact that I have sympathy for anyone who has to open for R. Allen. You could have at least said Craig Brown and it would have actually been highly ironic because that guy has done nothing but open up for people. No this is low key, not very Gonzo, which if you have been following the narrative, is also meant to be ironic. I don't believe t-shirt guy will be there because -jr is flying into town for this, but we will have t-shirts available. I'm having one made especially for me. It says "The Boy Next Door". Thanks for (still reading though).
Lol wut. The venue just confirmed the show. This is impressive.
Perhaps I'm being too mean to E 1st. Admit it, you would be too if you didn't know her. Watching pretty privilege slip away from someone can be funny to watch.
Flying into town? Where the hell did -jr go?
Are you ever going to publish a book?
What happened to Wang? Peter the Freshman?
Will this be one of a series of last shows like the Amino Acids?
Perhaps you are.
Somebody else mentioned the "flying into town" thing. It just sounded more important.
I actually am going to publish the book. I am looking at mid-summer. I am in the final stages of the editing process and it covers most of the fiction from 2008-present. Cleaned it up, dropped a lot of the local elements. It will be available via Amazon and will post the link here there and everywhere. I can promise you it will be much better than that Jimmy Doom book.
Wang and Peter are married with multiple children and are no longer 28. Suck, the drummer, put on weight and had to be sacked.
As for "last shows I honestly thought the one at Simons After Dark in L.P. was the last show, but this came up literally this past week. I am pretty sure this will be the last show or at least one of a series. I couldn't resist the inherent drama surrounding New Dodge. Hope this helps.
One of the tshirts you sell should say I USED TO HAVE PRETTY PRIVILEGE.
I can't believe the Corktown Music Festival came and went without any commentary from you.
I miss the blogs. Hip in Detroit is only ticket giveaways now.
Sorry, had to delete the last suggestion for legal reasons and because at the end of the day I am a stand up guy at heart. Didn't I cover the Corktown Fest? Did anyone? I know I did the JCM Fest parody last May/June (which actually is pretty damn funny), but yeah I agree, I miss the blogs. Does Milo still write? About the same acts from 2009? I'm too lazy to check. You did inception me to go check out Hip in Detroit. For old times sake.
Okay, I'm back. You really are an awful human for reminding me they existed; much worse than anything I can say.
Still a glorified press release machine, that most likely gets 4 passes for everything they regurgitate, 2 for the "lucky winners" (friends) and two for themselves, especially if it a new restaurant.
That being said I did a jump, flash, cut Zoom call with the crew, and I submitted an entry for the Less Than Jake tickets (a must-see if you ask me), and Elizabeth First signed up for the Punk in Drublic craft beer/music fest but only after she finished with the "If You're Not Wasted the Day Is" shirts, and Wang was very interested in the Taco Fest event because he is very forward thinking and wants to break down stereotypes. Peter the Freshman didn't respond to any of the contest suggestions, likely working on the Biden 2024 banners. -jr didn't sign up for any contests because he was 3 whiskeys in and was confused that Tunde has something called "Tunde Made A Universe" at Cranbrook. His only reply was "But Tunde IS a universe", and I think he was crying.
What happened with your other ex? Didn't she try to off herself?
Which one ho ho ho? But no. Not to my knowledge. Nice try though. Anyway, JCM at the New Dodge June Twenty-fifth. Sometime early-ish. This should be the topic.
I'm very sad you deleted one of my comments. I don't really understand all of the "legal reasons" behind it, but it seemed like bullshit at the time.
I guess the show isn't fake. Jury is still out on whether or not it's gay.
JCM isn't on the official flyer, but I think Jay Carrol may be on the bottom right.
How weird that people poured energy into blogs for years just to make them vanish, or let them disappear when the server subscription runs out. You turning them into drafts isn't much better. What is the next generation using as an outlet? Social media? Lame.
Does Jasper even live around here anymore?
Milo made a final post, without making it explicit that it was a final post. Don't know if he writes at all anywhere. Hard to imagine that he gave it up completely.
Couple of months back Cosmic Lights Shapes played a free show at a Royal Oak bowling alley. For some reason a lot of the old fogeys think it's a great place. One of their trust fund baby friends from back in the day must have poured his money in to it. I'm surprised you weren't aware. Seems like fodder for you.
I would explain the legal reasons but I can't. But its nothing that salacious so don't stress too much on it. JCM not on the official flyer is calculated and has been discussed.
I agree with you on the lack of original content around here these days. I liked having stuff to bounce off of and improve/satirize on which made things better for everyone because, despite not having an editor, I am a good writer.
I'll have to look up Milo's last post. I wonder the Vegas Over/Under on adjectives is or if he brings up the Handgrenades.
I've given up on roasting Combover Light Shapes
So what happened?
Jesus man let me sleep! These fucking notifications. I'll have a full review up on Monday.
The nutshell-
-Good turnout especially because people usually leave during our set.
-We protested our own show, as usual beforehand. Had more people than Gonzo Steffins.
-Set list was 8 songs but only ended up being 4, by design.
-Pretty Privilege First wore a pregnancy belly filled with blood that she stabbed and aborted during the last song completely pissing off the staff. Up until that point the crowd was adjusted to cover songs. I did feel bad for Jotown who had to wear gloves for the rest of the night. My favorite quote would be, "One of you need to get this blood off the stage before The Orbitsuns". And we assured him that we would and never revisited it.
There's more, but that was when things turned twisted like they always do, so wait for the next post or buy the Gold Pass. Oh and Woodman showed up and bought us coney dogs!!!
You missed out scardeypants
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