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Friday, July 22, 2022

Hamtramck Music Fest Preview Pt. 0 Wristbands- This Will Get Ugly

 From the National Affairs Desk-

   It's that time of year again! Time for the only surviving local music blog of the 2000's to begin its preview of the Hamtramck Music Festival..
   For the newer readers (there actually are a few), here is a quick recap: Took a DC-10 out of London where the JCM played the very first HamFest back in 2014. It went well. It was fun. Nobody had any issues, and E First wore a mutilated pig's head as an obtuse satire of Hip in Detroit as my GF at the time began the process of reassessing things, and then things began to unravel as I saw her glaring at me, shaking her head, as E First whispered in my ear "I love you", and I replied, "That would be a mistake," and then we were asked to perform again a year, maybe two, later, and me, being me, did a preview where I basically shit on every band playing the Fest which is what I always did because it gets these nobodies at least some press, and, yeah, I did maybe post some public domain nudes of one of the acts that really wasn't a local act, and we were kicked off, and I flipped, and me and Peter the Freshman exposed the money/tax issues with the charity they were pimping (Ben's Encore, which has since been corrected but no longer associated with HamFest; full disclosure), and meetings were held, lists were made, and it's a story that might bore you...

   Jump, flash, cut to 2022 and here we are again. 200 performers, 23 venues, 1 weekend of misery. Though the lineup may look the same as the last three years, there are a few changes that need to be looked at.
   This year the price is $25, If you don't buy in advance, which nobody does. While perusing their website I noticed another glaring change. They have removed all references to the Festival supporting Hamtramck schools. The verbiage is now, "Hamtramck Music Festival is a not for profit 501c3 organization dedicated to supporting local music in the Detroit area."  What...the...fuck...does...that...mean? Does anybody see a problem here? Where is the money going? Back when I exposed the initial fraudulent (but corrected and distanced from the Fest) charity I noticed that a few of the committee members had declared bankruptcy. I didn't include that in my posts because I do have some standards, but now we officially have no idea where the (your) money is going. Now, I can understand some of you thinking "Well, I just want to see a lot of bands and have a good time." Hey, that is fair. Cool, rock and roll. But 98% of these acts are playing for free. Sooooo, where is the money going?
   While still checking their website I noticed this dandy of a screenshot:




Full Disclosure, the HMF is officially filed but....


 

So, back to Square One, what is going on here? The org is unsearchable, nobody knows who is on the committee so none of you can inquire where the money is going, so what gives? To be fair, it is possible that the non-profit could be under a different name, something like "Eugene's Hair Plug Fund," or, "Dear Darkness Quest For Facelift", but in all seriousness, this information should be made public. Will it? What do you think? 
   Here is the "Bishop Meets King" moment: Any member of the forever undisclosed HamFest committee can contact me at any time (bryanmetro1@hotmail) with any information to add, then they win because it is proven to be legit. I win because you know it because of me.

   If it is business as usual and nothing is communicated to the best local journalist in Detroit and nothing is updated on their website and nobody knows where the money is going, then the JCM have a backup plan. Wizard bootlegger, Kentucky Pete has acquired a prototype design for the Hamtramck Music Festival wristband and has mass produced it for the low cost of $2.36. Members of the JCM Collective will be out and about during the Fest offering them at a ridiculous discount of, well... whatever you want. A beer? Cool, it's yours. A mention on the blog, a "Hot Take" on what the Fest means to you? Ehhhh, take one but I'll cringe. A BJ? Take two! Anyway, they will be readily available throughout the weekend. I mean why pay $25 of you hard earned (and rare) money to some "enclave" where you have less than ZERO idea where it is going when you can give it to me, the best local journalist in town bay bay.
   Finally, if anyone out there can provide the official name/Tax ID/etc. this whole HMF non-profit then they will win this exclusive wristband prototype signed by members of the JCM, Metro, -jr, Wang, and E First. Let's have Fun with this Constant Readers!




Oh geeze, I didn't even get into the band previews yet. Well I guess that will have to wait for Part 2!

From the Iceman Commeth,
Dr. Bryan Metro, The Boy Next Door

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I took the bait and checked the IRS database. I couldn't find anything. I even used different names (HamFest, HMF) stuff like that. My last search was just for Hamtramck which popped up a few results but nothing associated with the Fest. Sooooo, do I get a free wristband?

Anonymous said...

A lot of bands do this for exposure. Maybe get a few eyes, maybe sell a cd or record at the venue.

Dr. Bryan Metro said...

Anon 12:58- I understand that, and to some degree I think that is a good thing. But I have to get back to my original point. Who is getting all of the money from the $25 wristbands? I have contacted a few of the acts booked, who will remain anonymous obviously, and they all said they are not getting paid. Most of the people working the event are volunteers. Where....is....the....money....going?

Anon 12:39- Yes you do. Stay tuned for distribution.

Anonymous said...

Props to you for updating the post confirming it is a registered non profit. As you said, people (and artists) deserve to know where the money is going. I think Bissa needs to have somebody update their website. (Thanks for the screencap). Otherwise it is still a scam right?

John Bissa said...

Bissa here.

I’ve been managing the money for HMF for the last several years. I know where every penny goes. Here are some answers:

- The Hamtramck Music Fest 501c3 is in good standing with the State. It’s very easy to find online.
- The money typically goes in three directions: roughly 60% for production, 20% gets carried forward for the next year and 20% is given away.
- The production and carried forward money pays for sound, PR, printing, wristbands, professional fees, online fees, security, etc.

It’s all fine and well to conjure up funny little conspiracies about “the money.” The truth is that the whole thing is run on a shoestring by a small group of very dedicated volunteers who work their asses off to deliver this very unique event every year…and still manage to give a nice chunk back to the community. Every spending decision is approved by a majority of the organizing group and the financials are reviewed annually by the organizing group and by a third-party accountant.

Here’s an offer to anyone genuinely concerned about “the money.” Step away from the keyboard and ask me whatever question you have. I’m easy to find.

And if you are still concerned after that, a further offer: for $100, I’ll show you the HMF accounts. If you find any irregularities, I’ll give you $100 (my money); if you don’t find anything, you donate your $100 to HMF. (Don’t worry, it’s tax deductible.)

Meanwhile, only four days until HMF. The weather looks promising and the lineup is great. We hope everyone has a great time.

John

Dr. Bryan Metro said...

Hello John,
First off I applaud you for your transparency. I did know that you were handling much of the logistics due to the info I found when researching the tax stuff (which I did have the decency to admit was filed in the post above).
I think my main issue with the money situation is the verbiage/rhetoric that is used on the website in the past vs. the present. In the past, the verbiage was "Powered by the people, volunteers, with 100% of the money going to the Hamtown public schools". I totally understand the need for production costs although some of the breakdowns are humorous in their own right (Ex- PR, a Facebook page isn't exactly breaking the bank. Security, heh. And my favorite, the ominous "professional fees"). So that leaves 20% that is given away. I did notice the subtle change in the website, scrubbing all references to the Hamtramck public schools. So basically I'm just curious where the last 20% goes. I'm too lazy to update all the previews though.

I've also always been weirded out that nobody knows who is on the committee. That should be included on the website since every spending decision is approved by a majority of the organizing group and financials reviewed by the organizing group. But who is the organizing group?

I guess you can call it nitpicking, but the recent years have seen an uptick in the "cash grab" or "grift", and money is tight for everyone these days. I'm not surprised that you were the one to actually make an effort to reach out, as I have always respected you, John, despite my in character taunting.

I am going to have to pass on your fine and well $100 offer as I don't have $100 laying around and already know that "the books" are on the up and up, especially after that icky Ben's Encore deal a few years back. In solidarity I will make a point to try to frequent and support as many venues as possible, as I did last year (even buying two t shirts, unironically). Friday in particular is shaping up to be a very decent day. If the weather holds.

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