Hamtramck Music Fest Final Preview Part 5 Letters ?-? The Scum Also Rises

Last Update- Covered the Fest on Friday. Yes, not a fake post. It'll be up early next week. For those going today if you want to support the Hamtramck schools (as they say) buy a wristband. For those who want to support/see new music every venue I went to last night (6 in total) were not checking wristbands. Go out and have fun. Be safe. You may not know the next time you can. 

Update 4- As of yesterday they were still being told they were going to play. Oh well, DJ's gotta eat too. Oh wait, none of the bands are being paid? Oh....well everyone have fun!

Update 3- Smalls cancelled Saturday entirely. They will still be open so pop in and have a brewski for youski. Be considerate of your fellow patrons however. Save the virus swapping for Lager House.

Update 2- We are on our 4th lineup at Smalls in a day and a half. They're just trolling everyone right? Has to be. Right? Please say right. Nobody can be that incompetent. 

Update 1- More Tomorrows contacted me and said they are still playing the Fest. So we now have three separate lineups for Smalls on Sunday. Keep in mind this is only one venue. Dear lord help us all....

From the HMF website:

From Facebook Events:

From the HMF directly on FB: 

From the National Affairs Desk-

Whew, what a wild past few days. When I first started previewing this fest last week I had every intention to see it through and complete a blurb for every act letters A-Z. Now that we are on Part 5 and after not previewing a single act in Parts 3 & 4, I can safely conclude that doing so would be completely pointless. Why preview anything if nobody knows who is actually playing, the bands included? I can also safely conclude that this is the second biggest debacle in the Hamtramck Music Fest's history. I honestly don't see how it returns. It is just not worth it. Of course everyone will blame Covid, everyone's favorite excuse, but these balloonheads have a history of running this thing about as bad as anyone can, Hello Ben's Encore!

Let's be honest. This has not been a good week for the HMF, and no amount of last minute coverage from sites nobody has heard of or the sinking/sunk Metro Times can salvage this. And that's too bad because I wanted people to go to this and have fun. Go back and read Part 2. I pleaded with everyone to go out, see these bands, support the bars, etc, and I think I jinxed them because after I hit publish the carnage starting oozing in. 

It all started 7 years ago....just kidding. It all started this Tuesday when one of the top venues of the Fest, Smalls, announced that everyone attending must be fully vaccinated or have proof of a negative test, masks as well. Of special note is that this includes the performers as well. More on that in a minute. Back in Part 1 I raised the question that some venues would adopt such policies and lo and behold it happened. In my post yesterday, Part 3, I broke the news that this was not a mutual decision with HMF. It was a decision of Smalls which last I checked they are fully entitled to, and HMF in fact Knew that some venues were considering adopting these policies in advance but did not relay this to the people buying wristbands. Why should they? They already have their money and can (and will) blame Covid and the venues for any inconveniences. Hey there Hold Harmless Policy! They buried it to avoid controversy and affect the turnout. Ooops. Too late, and let's be frank, the turnout was never going to be that impressive anyway. Near the end of the last post I delved into "not a prediction but a spoiler" territory and said that more changes were coming....

Jump cut to the present and the unorganized chaos is trending up. Sanctuary, another venue participating announced a "mask recommendation" which these days is enough to invigorate or turn off just about everyone. Then, Wednesday evening, HMF announced that the landscape of Smalls for the Fest had changed. Here is their official statement:

I did a double take when I read that there was a "slight modification". Are they fucking serious?? Six out of eight bands that were announced over two nights at Smalls dropped out or were replaced, 2 bands on Friday and 4 on Saturday. Every Band On Saturday. That is 75% of the entire Smalls slate. Slight? Every band on Saturday replaced by the dreaded DJ's. The funny thing is that the DJ's may bring in more people than the Twerps of Spaceskull or whatever those dweebs call themselves. I'm only half kidding there as bringing in DJ's may circumvent the whole wristband thing which has become an albatross for many a venue over the years. More on that in a bit. As for the bands that are no longer playing I would love to get to the bottom of the how and why they are no longer playing. Keep in mind that my band, the Jesus Chainsaw Massacre, was once cancelled and replaced at the HMF by these glandular cases who ended up getting replaced themselves.

 If only there was a local journalist to do that ho ho ho. Oh wait I did!  According to one of the acts who are no longer playing speaking on anonymity they were all ready to play, meeting all of the restrictions, hoping to take part in the largest local music fest in the country hoping to reach a wide audience (ok the last part was me taken from the HMF verbiage but you get the idea), and it was the HMF that pulled the plug on their entire set with no explanation. Go back and read that last part. There is your scoop. If anyone from the HMF would like to give their side of the story feel free to contact me and I will update the post accordingly and most importantly, fairly. But you have me blocked. I can quit right now and my work will be done. Nah, let's continue... You may be thinking: "How does he know who stayed and who was replaced if HMF and Smalls posted the new weekend schedule? Is Metro that obsessed he saved the entire HMF lineup?" Allow me to answer. No. The idiots still have the original lineups posted on their website as of this writing. Pathetic.

So for everyone's scorecard every band playing at Smalls on Friday and Saturday dropped out or was replaced except for Ryan Allen's Extra Bands and The Strains. I have to stress again that the Smalls policy is for both the patrons And performers. Is it possible that some of the acts weren't vaccinated? Possibly but the acts I spoke with said they met all the requirements and were ready to play. What happened? This opens up a whole can of worms if an act may or may not be able to perform at a venue based on this. Of course "free enterprise blah blah I thought you were for capitalism" and all that. I get it. But what if an act is friends with a venue and doesn't have to prove it? What if an act draws really big and the requirements happen to be ignored for them? Do you see the slippery slope, or at the very least am I planting the seeds in your spinning little heads ho ho ho? But that's for a future post. Back to the HMF 2021 debacle. Two acts remain, both on Friday. Moving on.

This should bring us up to date but plans can still change of course. Most of you will see this Thursday, the Kickoff day. As of now the PLAV (HMF Headquarters derp derp) is still the only venue advertised which is par for the kickoff nights. Which means everyone in one place, at one time. Will vaccinations be required there? Negative tests? Masks? As of this writing those in charge in the state have yet to mandate anything, but we know its coming. Just not in time for the Fest. By the way, how come the HMF Facebook or website have exactly ZERO mention of the pandemic or even a safety checklist? Jesus. It has been established by the CDC that the Delta variant can be transmitted to and from the fully vaccinated. Ask the Texas senators, New York Yankees, and a few of my friends. So does this make Smalls' requirements irrelevant? Okay, now I'm just starting shit and putting nightmares in your little heads. Hey, cut me some slack. I had to preview 50 bands before I gave up so nightmares are due karma.

So I leave you with this question... Are wristbands really the answer? Years ago, before I was banned from 30% of the venues hosting this thing, 100% banned from covering it other than this site, and 15% threatened with physical harm, I broke the news that Ben's Encore was not a valid non profit.....wait, wrong notes. Years ago I broke the news that some venues were not checking wristbands at the Metro Times Blowout, granted a different festival but the same idea, business model, and ineptitude of those running (and sponsoring) it. While speaking to some venues, they said they stopped checking wristbands after Day 1 because they were Losing money because people just wanted to drink and could care less about the bands. The bars nearby not hosting the festival actually saw their weekend profits go Up by not participating. Do you see where I'm going here? That was 2014/2015 and even the most apologetic excuse-makers would agree that the local music scene and bands were much stronger then than they are today. Let's flash to today and good lord this could be a bloodbath. Does the HMF even have enough volunteers to check wristbands or do venues prefer that they don't? Keep in mind we are coming out/going in a pandemic and many of these participating bars/venues lost a Lot of money the past year and could use a weekend of solid black ink especially with another possible lockdown looming. Is even one weekend sacrificed for the "Hamtramck schools" cough cough worth turning away a party of 6 who just want to drink and spend $70+ at your place but don't want to pay $15 Each extra because fucking Dear Darkness is playing? Do you see where I'm going here?

During the last lockdown many local venues secretly stayed open as a sort of modern speakeasy to help with taxes and supporting the staff. That's not a bombshell. Its the worst kept secret, and one I fully support. Some venues participating in this very Fest may have even done so in fact. I have no problem with ANY of that. I want to see local businesses successful though I may have a weird way of showing it. I am not taking sides in the political debate of all this. That was never my point. I've had friends who said, "Wow, you really sided with Smalls after they banned you and their (former) employee threatened to kill you?" No, I didn't side with anyone. I listened to what they had to say. Other friends said, "Wow, are you an anti-vaxxer? What if it was your blah blah blah" No, I'm fully vaccinated and have my Vaxx ID card currently being enlarged for a future project. Eh, don't ask. As it always has been, I am here for the chaos. And I am not disappointed. Ah, I'm starting to ramble.

So this concludes Part 5 of the 2021 HMF Preview. I don't think I was kidding in the title when I said this was the Final Preview. I think this is it. I think we're stuck with the virus for a while, at least another three years, and I don't see the HMF surviving that long. In previous posts I have repeatedly said that "my work here is done". So much so that I have had people ask "Are you okay?" or "Should I be worried?" Everything really is a bonus and this year's HMF is one big bonus. Yes, I am leaving you with more questions than answers but I always have. The JCM/Lavender Blog and the HMF have been dancing this slow dance of death since 2014 and this may be it. I never recovered from having my heart broken by them and being kicked off because of a few whiny lintheads who got what they wanted and split town without even a "Thank you" just as I predicted they would. Then again, the HMF never recovered either. Out of stubbornness I owe it to myself to stick around until the mental defectives running this thing have moved on to lesser ventures which they still aren't qualified for, and wait for a local music fest to be run by people who actually care about music, the bands, the volunteers, venues, and history. I want to be around for that day. You should as well Constant Readers. If only there was a local journalist to cover it (and get paid). Selah, maybe someday soon. Plus I'm banned from 30% of the venues, have outstanding death threats, and am not spending $15 on this. I would say "Adieu" but that would imply that we would meet again, so instead I'll just say goodbye. To the Hamtramck Music Festival (2014-2021) who never let me down.

From the Iceman Commeth,

Dr. Bryan Metro