Covid Hits Home For Detroit

 From the National Affairs Desk-

"Let me say that I might have made a tactical error in not going to a physician for 20 years."- Warren Zevon

Metro here and let me say right off the bat that the headline for this post is a bit misleading. Covid has been part of our lives from Detroit to Portland Maine, or Portland Oregon for that matter, for a while now. This past weekend I received a few messages from Constant Readers asking me to touch on the closure of local landmark PJ's Lager House. The closure is temporary as one of the employees has tested positive for the virus. The Freep has a completely useless article where they basically say that local landmark PJ's Lager House is temporarily closed as one of its employees has tested positive for the virus. They then have a list of symptoms to tie everything up, move on, check that story off, Selah. By the way if you need a list of symptoms at this point for are a true Level 10 Waterhead. There is a tad more to this story than the lazy piece found in the Freep (I won't even include a link here. I basically just gave you the entire article). But, as always, its much more fun to slide down the surface of things and, well, start shit. So grab a drink at your favorite watering hole that isn't closed, sit back, and get scared; get pissed (This pic of me was before the Michigan lockdown, even before masks were "a thing", so I had to use a plastic bag at HQ which unnerved pretty much everybody when I started telling the staff that I knew what it was like to be dead. Oh, and 4 months no alcohol this Devil's Night).

Man, those were really fun days; the threat of something sinister, the underlying ripples of fear, the end of it all and the beginning of the next phase. If only we had known the serious potential of the virus back when the picture above was taken. That would be IN FUCKING JANUARY OF 2020! Jesus. Yes, back in January I posted a serious/arrogant photo blog where I appeared at bars, restaurants, movie theaters, grocery stores, and the fucking casino, all of which were affected by the virus and subsequent lockdown. This was January in the land of No Excuses. Months later everybody was in the shit with bars, restaurants, movie theaters, and casinos closed, all predicted right here. Of course, nobody gives a shit until you hit them where it hurts, the billfold. Once that happens, the blame game comes into play. Remember, Detroit Blames Everybody Harder (trademark pending). Anyway, back to October 2020.

This was posted by the Lager House this past weekend.

You might want to get tested. First off, I really feel for anybody who's livelihood has been hit by this Bug. That mostly is for the employees in the trenches. I've always had an aversion to management because of years of dealing with bullshit about the bottom line over employees. I understand that that's how you run most successful businesses, but that is why I do not have a successful business. This Lager update above is all covered in the fuck-all Freep article I'm not linking here. Actually that's pretty much the entire Freep article. What the Freep article doesn't touch on (because it would like take a minute of actual research) is that this is not the first scare that Lager House has had. Here are a few updates starting September 28th (the timeline for this incident starts the week of Sept. 21st):

Now while I am glad that this incident in September turned out to be nothing if everything presented is the truth, and there is no reason for it not to be, nor am I implying it isn't, but it is indeed scary that a few days after Incident #1 (Incident False Positive) another one pops right up. The whole current situation illustrates the near impossibility of running a safe, profitable business these days. The one line in the updates above that really stings is, "Please keep wearing your masks and distancing appropriately- it does work!". Then, days later, boom boom. Can the Lager House come out from under the shadow/stigma of being possibly unsafe and not worth the risk? That is the unfortunate reality in which we live. I imagine the first employee at AMC Theaters that blows over the virus limit will attach the same stigma to all theaters, and this is at a crucial time where businesses are trying to safely reopen. It really is looking like a no-win situation. Maybe Lager House had the right idea trying to sell it after that mystery fire a few years ago. Too much headache. You can support the employees (hopefully the employees) by buying Lager House. (Cracking up. I am editing now and I meant "Lager House merch". I'm leaving it as is, way funnier). Hopefully they include a complimentary "I survived Corktown 2020" face mask.

I think Lager House is handling this decently and hope all those ill recover to 100%. At least, they are not playing the blame game like the Blind Pig out in Ann Arbor. I came across this article (also this past weekend) where the co-owner Joe "Neckbeard Stereotype" Malcoun blames President Trump for everything while conveniently ignoring that Governor Whitmer is the one who halted businesses to begin with. I firmly believe that the open/close debate will never have a clear winner. Both options have pro's and con's, and that is a tightrope I would not want to walk. That's probably why Malcoun resorted to the blame game. Here are a few screencaps along with the article link.

He ends the piece with, "My only hope for my family and this business and my community is that Joe Biden wins this election." Oh, here's the Piggy LinkThis is a perfect segue to my next point: If Biden wins, and it is looking that way, I fear/predict that a lot of people will assume that everything is back to normal, status quo, in the world and let their guard down which will be a complete disaster. Then, they have the ready-made excuse that they inherited this epidemic from Trump. That's not a prediction, but a spoiler, and you read it here first. *Author's Note- The JCM has yet to endorse a candidate*

I did chuckle that they reopened in June and then cancelled all Fall shows due to low attendance. Hate to break it to you, but the Blind Pig was bleeding money when they were still doing shows, long before Covid was a twinkle in my Asian bass player's eye. Now they have a reason to play the blame game. Another prediction, not quite a spoiler, but I bet if (and a big IF) the Blind Pig starts to turn a profit again that Pig Malcoun will cash out and skip town, pulling an Anthony Morrow. I must stress that's just my opinion (those are still legal right?) and not a fact. I do like that the Youtube shill job has over a thousand dislikes already (those be people who won't be going there anymore) and the comments are turned off, the sign of a true coward. I'm not a business owner, just the best local journalist, but potentially alienating a chunk of your clientele, even in a Waterhead metropolis like Ann Arbor, is not optimal business practice. I see a lot of eating of "in the red" receipts in their future. The irony of being called The Blind Pig just made me gag on my pink lemonade and pork rinds. I have enough tubby jokes for miles and miles.

Back to the Mich. Governor, I have already touched on the kidnapping plot in earlier posts: Stupid, dumb, crazy, stupid, danger, fear, and in no way condoned here. However, allow me invoke "playground rules" and say that "One Term Whitmer" started it by using the very first post-plot presser to play the blame game. Of course it later came out that the plot was being, errrr, plotted before Trump's Proud Boys debate comment along with "Liberate Michigan" but who cares about that? Then it turned a full on playground brawl that is still continuing. See below

I'm a big boy and realize that to "86" probably means "get rid of" but some may misinterpret it as "to kill" which I'm sure was not the intention, but sometimes people can't unpack the message which takes us back to the kidnapping plot. Y'see the door swings both ways and words can be interpreted any way the receiver feels fit best. She also used the visual on her appearance on "Meet the Press". Perfectly legal to express one's views last I checked no matter how petty they may be, trust me on that one kiddo's! Oh and all together now, SEGUE!!!

Let's get out there and support local businesses in the safest way possible for them, others, and You. I don't know what way that it, and I guess it will be different for everyone. Plus its not my job. Oh, under the radar, UFO is open again after they got smashed by that construction crew last year. As of now there are no cases of any virus, of any type, which is good. I think I may have come across the reason why:

Good lord man, I still haven't taken that last hit of acid yet and I can't handle things like this, some wild creature who must have escaped from the Arrowhead Project to put a lid on, squash, all the heebee jeebies and sexual appetites from Detroit to Portland Maine, or Portland Oregon for that matter. I mean, the one on the left is a Maybe, but yikes, holy smokes, oh my, shit fire, fuck.

Stay tuned for the next post, the JCM Halloween Spectacular 2020 featuring a photo/vid barrage of spooky goodness from me, in costume as XXXXXXXX along with a few secret guests. Maybe we'll nozz-a-la that last hit of acid before the Day of the Dead after all. Either that or we'll pre drink at the Lager House wearing our masks and brand new merch. Welcome to the Night Train.

From the Iceman Commeth,

Dr. Bryan Metro