The following post is brought to you by that Bahama show...
Haha, just kidding.
From the National Affairs Desk-
Metro here. Jesus, not only does the content of the recent posts blur together, seem the same, but the titles do as well. This post is basically a bridge from the goofy fun of the Halloween/Election ones to the goofy fun of the upcoming irreverent, retrospective mysteries of the remaining 2020 ones. All of those should be a blast for Constant Readers old and new, most notably next week's History of JCM post, and that is surely something to be thankful for. This post is just a glorified link dump, and I wouldn't shed a tear if you even skip over it. I have a few "social climate" links and screengrabs along with some other stuff that wouldn't warrant a full post. The format is the same as all my other social commentary posts; lots of pictures/headlines, some links, and brief opinions and Ativan induced tangents. Easy stuff, right?
Before I dump my folders (not a metaphor), I just want to restate the Lavender Blog Policy and 2020 Apology. If you find anything offensive on a personal level please contact me in the comments or preferably at bryanmetro1@hotmail.com. Also, I would like to apologize if some of my previous work and sometimes overzealous opinions caused you or anyone grief. I am currently re-editing the archives to purge anything too harsh. Don't worry, most of them will be untouched with many of the classic taunts still being there, but some cleaning up couldn't hurt. Don't worry (again), most future posts will still try to balance the "in your face" bombast, unwavering honesty, and underrated wit that I pretty much have perfected. On to the weekly bullshit.
Yes, that is real promotional material for an upcoming DC Universe project. You may ask, "Why would Superman need a fucking mask?" For that I offer, "Shut the fuck up. I have no clue, and I don't have Kevin Smith on speed dial to ask. Besides, have you seen Superman's Super Breath?" I could, and will, make the point that entertainment/art has many benefits; a distraction, thought provoking, high art, low brow, laughter, tears, etc. I try not to assume too much (ho ho ho), but I would bet that the majority use film, music, books, art, etc. as an escape, even for a hour or so, from the bullshit of everyday life. Many people would agree, I assume (ho ho ho), based on how many times I see the marketing hacks trot out the cringe-inducing phrase, "The (song, movie, show, book, podcast) we NEED right now." So lazy. I think Superman would fall under the "escape" banner but this ad just reminds people of the chaos surrounding us when maybe some would just like that hour or so of relief. Besides, the thought of getting a hooker during a pandemic is just too much. Thus, this ad campaign is a total fail.
Some quick bullet points:
- Twitter is introducing a new, slightly borrowed, feature called "fleet tweets" in which one can designate a tweet to disappear after a period of time. This feature is perfect for those drunk tweets and ill advised pedo jokes from 2010. This is a flawed feature in that everybody's screencap app will be working overtime. Now, when Twitter starts banning the reposting of these grabs is when we have a serious problem. Then again some social media like Snapchat already has that in place so... so what, I guess.
- Also the Wayne County Board of Canvassers voted to certify the election results after a temporary 2-2 deadlock. Of course people went nuts and even after the unanimous vote went through of course some people were whining that they shouldn't hold another public office. All I could do is laugh at all the smart people chirping from the first fucking major US city in modern times to declare bankruptcy. Talk about an inflated sense of entitlement.
I see this Post Election Hangover gravitating to many areas of discussion, but the main one's this week are: the frustration regarding Trump's refusals and challenges regarding the election results (even the Conservatives are getting bored with it), civil unrest and the need (and fear) to move forward, the January Georgia Senate runoff's (this will be your December, bank on it), and of course, Covid Home For The Holidays. Starting with the civil unrest and the call to action to move forward (the media memo's like to use the word "Heal"), in a previous post, I delved deep into how most people are consciously/subconsciously thankful for all of the Trump drama. He is a physical manifestation of a "Get Out of Jail Free" card. Bad day at work? Trump! Road rage? Trump! Anti-Trump protests? Trump! Pro-Trump rallies? Trump! Looting small businesses? Trump!
Those were the Biden victory rally and the Trump MAGA Election protest, both in DC, both at different times this month. Now here is the Covid-related map of DC.
Ouch... Superspreaders have no political ties. I have seen more left-leaning excuses like, "Well, most were wearing masks," and that is true, but the experts' safety tips are not a Comcast cable and internet bundle. For maximum effect they should be a total package deal, ie: masks + social distancing > masks w/o social distancing. Of course, both are better than no masks/no social distancing. Next up is the full time Mayor of Chicago, part time Star Wars character, at a Biden rally. No mask, and with the now standard excuse, "I was caught up in the moment."
Here is a similar dumbass hypocrite in public office, Governor Gavin Newsome of California.
Just days after the Chicago Mayor attended a rally with a bullhorn and no facemask the city of Chicago was locked down by this very same mongoloid. Here is a graph of some Chicago statistics.
Oh shit, those are the homicide one's. I have the Covid numbers around here somewhere. Fuck it, The numbers are actually are actually really close to each other. This past Sunday, Michigan Governor, Governor One Term along with the Health Department placed more restrictions on the state. They actually weren't as bad as I thought they would be. No indoor dining, no casinos, bowling, movie theaters. I'm fire with that. Gyms still open. That one is baffling. The cynic in me thinks it wasn't a Chicago/Washington State style total lockdown so that in three weeks they can say, "Well we gave you a little rope. Now here's the Christmas lockdown." The announcement took about four minutes and the rest was Hallmark quality sanctimonious emotional pleas. I am all for being smart about this so I don't actually have a problem, but can understand why some would. Also, in the interest of fairness, this photo has been circulating. I looked into it, and it is from earlier this year, NOT, minutes after the Sunday presser so instead of being guilty of not practicing what she preaches she is just guilty of having a limited wardrobe.
The scary thing is that the most recent numbers don't even take into account the full magnitude of those earlier photos from the Biden rally, the Trump MAGA Hate rally, and the counter protest/excuse to burn things, attack, and harass anybody.
DC was a nightmare this past week as Trump supporters drunk on conspiracy theories and destructive BLM waterheads looking for a reason to "peacefully" protest clashed in the streets as Freedom Plaza burned. Not even Masked Superman could save that situation.
Yikes, you know its bad when white trash derelicts are pissing in their own mouths in protest of ????
In another previous post I went into depth on how both parties are splintering and infighting. This has also gotten worse with the latest delays. The hot topic for Democrats is the near-constant dick measuring of who "really" got Biden elected and what will he do to repay them. This debate crosses demographic lines and pits the Old Guard vs. The Progressives. Even the once important, now biased, New York Times can no longer ignore it.
Here is the link to the Times article. I had to click twice to make sure they actually ran it. Whoa, a non Opinion NYT article! From what I've seen as an observer is that AOC and "The Squad" (ugh, that name) are very thin skinned, almost as bad as Trump (not hyperbole there), in that they are incapable of handling criticism well. Any criticism. Never wrong. Not an option. Its worse than high school and very cliquey with these people which gives me fever flashbacks to the local music scene (RIP) 2000-2019. It will be interesting to see what happens when they face greater adversity. Its one thing to mop the floor in your own district, but a whole other animal to do it on a larger scale. That need for social media validation may come back to haunt them like it did with Trump. All together now! Fleet fleet fleet.
Speaking of not being able to move on and "heal" from Trump, which I still see everywhere, a grotesque mutation of the Trump Derangement Syndrome, I turn to C-Level "journalist" of the LA Weekly via Detroit's Metro Times, Brett Callwood. This is going to be messy. Sure I could do a similar hit job on an easy target like Dan Bongino, but he has his mitts in Parler so it would be pointless. Callwood on the other hand is supposed to be a journalist, specifically a music writer, but has lost his touch of impartiality and injects every article with personal politics. That is fine in small doses but tying every single thing back to Trump is just pathetic. I've covered the JCM's history with him along with my heartbreak of seeing him turn into a shill whose personal politics ooze inter every letter of the alphabet he types. He even has his own folder at the National Affairs Desk, so let's dump it now. Before I forget, here are his credentials.
First, we have a wonderous plea made as Trump protesters chanted "Fox News Sucks" (ooooh how daring and destructive, I know) hours before sundown in DC, before the violence took over. Of course, no mention was made of that by Brett (or anybody actually).
Looks like he got the news memo to use "complicit" as much as possible regardless if you know what it means. Here are a couple shots of the chaos that never happened if you live in a bubble.
Yeah, this may end up being one of those apology request posts I referred to earlier. However, the job never rests when you're the second best.
I bet that just infuriated the President of the United States. Maybe even caused him to miss a putt; really showed him. Complete anarchy. Here is some grade-A journalism featuring some Biden activities that were impossible to confirm at the time of posting, but who cares about that, followed by a cutting edge Ice T fail-joke/audition for SNL's writing team.
I just read an article a few days ago about the Biden team's (justified) frustrations with their hands being tied by the Trump administration. This is in regards to Covid along with not having access to foreign leaders which actually can be illegal based on the nature of the discussions, but who cares about that? So which is it Cally? I need details not blanket assumptions. Speaking of objective journalism, this post concerning the Biden cancer charity got the "so what" treatment.
When he isn't pretending that news that hurts his narrative doesn't exist, Callwood sees himself as a sage of sorts, a teacher.
Also, moonlights as a modern day Eliot Ness.
Implying that a sitting president is treasonous. That's Ron Perlman territory. Still, quite the hot take! If it turns out to be correct and Trump is zapped, then surely 2nd place for the Pulitzer may be in the future. Sometimes Brett takes the plunge and attempts to work with actual facts!
Whoops, turns out to be a troll account. That's okay; happens to us all, well except for Woodward.
I did have a good laugh at his dismissal/deflection. Embarrassed? Maybe for a second. In denial? You betcha. Ultimately, gives the lazy "so what" treatment. Even when he is, y'know, tasked with doing his job as a music writer he still has to insert his personal politics into everything.
Remember when I said earlier that arts and entertainment are needed these days as an escape, even if it does include shitty bands (The Cramps are good) grifting free mentions in free weeklies? Somebody didn't get the memo. I'll wrap it up with my second favorite Callyism. Nothing can beat falling for the Philadelphia, Mississippi thing. Here is the unintentional irony of a lazy political whine followed by a call to action, "much needed break from politics", minutes later attached to an article written by someone else. Hahahahahaha.
Oh man, this segment could be viewed as a bit much, singling out a poor sod just wanting to change the world via his words. To that I gleefully say, "So what."
Next target, ooops subject, is B-Level actor Ethan Embry. Actor. That is his profession. I actually like most of his movies (Vegas Vacation, Cheap Thrills, The Guest) where he sticks to his profession. Nope, can't do that nowadays. Nobody can it seems. He also moonlights as a Covid savant and political analyst (ugh). This won't end well. Look away! Let's start with what would be his cover letter.
With that out of the way, let's move forward to the pandemic.
Monday's are always higher because no results are reported on Sund....oh Jesus, enough. Anyway, this is a good one which gives a peek at his expertise in crime and punishment.
Here would be the felony assault definition from the first page of a fucking Google search.
And the cherry on top is that his followers (lol) are encouraged by it and want to take part. Gosh, that sounds familiar on a personal level. Can't seem to place it though (fleet fleet fleet). Advocating violence is just as bad as the shit Trump supporters say. Everybody is all the same, and pretty much doomed.
Embry is also stumping for the Georgia Senate run-off's. To be fair, he lives there.
Still, I'd prefer my decisions to be made by a well-informed Me and not an actor, or even worse, somebody not even from your state. Bye Ethan. That would be a segue alert.
I guess the wildfires are all better now. How insulted would I feel if some west coast Waterheads with enough disposable income to travel all the way to my state so they can tell me how I should vote? Fuck right off with that. Here is another weird one.
Now Stacey is from Georgia, but this tweet was sent to me via a Tennessee correspondent by way of Oregon. Its the incredible return of the "American Idol" voter. My mole had a good point about not caring enough about another state's election to try to stump for it to total strangers. He may have even used the word "disease".
Let's wrap up the "Dump" with more Covid. Here is a good one from back in February.
Of course many/most would say that Trump didn't act until March, and they would be correct, but look at me. I knew what was coming back in late January when I did my hazmat/mask photo blog. I'm not an elected official, just a local journalist with a brain. Actually, I benefit from not being in politics.
I just leave everything up to the experts (there's that word again) like Masha here.
One of my cats saw me watching that clip and muttering about football odds and great big tits, and made a sketch of Masha in the best, most genuine, innocent way possible.
Even Covid is not immune from the political blame game. Here is Detroit Mayor Duggan, who I usually can stand, offering his take on Covid, race, city, and suburbs. It is a lock to raise some heated debate, although the story hasn't gained much traction.
Now it is Detroit vs. The Suburbs, another example of Divide-Speak (I just made that up). This, I could actually turn into a full post, but I'm ten pages in and getting tired. Here is the link to the full Mayor Duggan article: Hacksaw Duggan Hooooo. One contributor to the National Affairs Desk did offer their take on it: "The reason why Detroit is doing so well in the Age of Covid is because nobody goes there anymore (ie: those damn suburbanites) which effectively creates a natural quarantine within city limits for their citizens. How many Detroit residents actually work in Detroit? Based on the bus stops in [Redacted], I'd say not many." Fair assessment or byproduct of "The Divide"? That's why I love writing here. Everybody has a voice. I can have an entire segment devoted to Brett Callwood and seamlessly shift to social/class debate.
I would like to close with leading by example, the Road to Positivity. I know, I know, coming from me that's a bit rich, but hear me out. A call to action came across my desk inviting me to take part in contacting local political kahuna's regarding lending a hand to businesses hurt by the pandemic, specifically movie theaters.
I know this may seem trivial to most so pretend its for small businesses in general. Support what you like; whatever you want. Some may support education like the Hamtramck Music Fest goofs. I like to support less glamorous ventures like animal shelters and movie theaters. Besides, based on some of the comments I see here and on social media, education is pretty much a lost cause. But bickering about which cause is more important for your very valuable, but limited, money is idiotic; just more bickering. I am a big proponent of the in person movie theater experience despite some of my closest friends saying it is dying, an endangered species. Some have already thrown in the towel and are moving forward to VOD and streaming just like another "amateur" journalist, Jeff Milo.
Good god, I just realized that its just a link to another article NOT written by him. Fuck, does anybody actually write anymore? Is there an unspoken expectation that if you write for a site hardly anybody reads you have to link to other failed journalists? This is journalism? Linking to others' work and/or rewriting press releases. So, naturally, I signed the petition. They even fill out the message section for you lazy fucks. Of course, I spruced mine up, making it my own, with terms like "Yahoo's, creeps, pigs, and darkness". I even got nice form letters back from Debbie Stabenow and Rashida Tlaib (hooray, she can read!).
No word yet from Senator Peters yet, though. By the way, what happened to the MI Sec. of State responding to my questions regarding clerical errors in the Michigan Voting Database? Maybe some other day/post. I do have many good memories at the movies: places like the Senate, Cinema Detroit, and the Redford, seeing the Grindhouse double feature at the Ford Wyoming drive in, watching Rambo 4 with David Bannister and Herr Funk way too high, and getting a blowjob during a matinee of Very Bad Things. So sign the petition and it could be you up in the last row at the Quo Vadis getting head from a Gianna Michaels look-a-like. Sign here. Be somebody.
The last items in my dump folder are the oldest, dating back to the initial pandemic lockdown when it was carry out only. Some blubbery mutants dine and dashed and had the nerve to steal the entire day's tips from a Leo's Coney Island. Here are the model citizens, and I don't mean model in the runway sense; more like the runaway sense yayayayaya.
I'm sure they're actually good people. You know how people get when they don't get their 4th breakfast of the day. Anyway, that really pissed me off seeing hard workers counting on tips during a health crisis treated like that. A week after the pigs ran off with the money I got my stimulus check and took $100 of it and gave it to that location's manager after verifying that the incident did in fact happen. He was then to give it to that day's shift.
I didn't even make a big deal about it here, or anywhere. I am now because I wanted to clean up my folders and the holidays are near and its worse than ever with no end in sight, barring vaccines in everyone's stocking. So everyone look out for each other. Cut out the blaming, excuses, and bickering and change the world, or at the very least put a smile on somebody's face. If not, you'll have me to deal with.
Which reminds me, is it time for that Oktoberfest yet? That's all. The next post, due next week, is a fun one. A recreation/retrospective of the history of JCM as a live, performing act from 2008-2018, along with a cool memorabilia auction to benefit animal rescue, as always. Look for it Thanksgiving week celebrating with your ten most, bestest family members.
After that, who knows? I would like to cast a good light on some local artists who routinely got passed over back when the local scene actually existed, and are still putting out good music, their true love. There's a whole Solar System of them out there. You just need to know how to look. I'll be your mirror. Be smart and beware the pigs at all times.
From the Iceman Commeth,
Dr. Bryan Metro
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