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Thursday, June 7, 2018

2018 DMA Winners + Photo Blog

Hey all, Metro here.  Sorry for the lack of updates, but I have been hard at work.  However, I always want to provide the best coverage of local music in the city and when it comes to local music one can only think of the Detroit Music Awards.  Since this blog will be shut down on Oct. 8th, say thank'ya, I thought it would be a nice bookend to cover this year's Detroit Music Awards and even help take some pictures on the "red carpet".  I have included some of my shots below in case anybody in the local music scene was not nominated or able to attend.
It was such a joy and surprise to hear the JCM won again! The first one was in 2009 and now in 2018!! Our last year.  I'm tearing up just thinking of the symbolism.  It is an even more amazing achievement since everybody left the band in early 2017 except for E First and the song I submitted was a crude demo with me just crying into the mic.  The song labored on for about seven minutes and its title was "Holy Shit!" (the original title had been "Teenage Pussy" but the band voted it out as being "Too commercial").  Anyway I won, and was the lone member to attend, mainly because I am the only one left.  I don't want this post to be all about me so I will post a pic of me and my 2018 award and then move on to my photo blog...
Ok, I'll be the first to admit that the past year, with the Hamtramck Music Fest and threats of physical violence from people who's resumes only contain "Duhhhh I work at Smalls", has gotten to me, and I am not ashamed to admit that I have let myself go a bit.  And to anyone who thinks that I just took a pic on the red carpet and photoshopped a DMA in there, here is another.  This one with Skid from local rockers Circus Boy.  Hopefully this squelches all doubters...

Knowing the way the local scene thinks, their next thought will be to check the DMA website for proof that JCM won this year.  Don't bother.  I had a long talk with Terri and we both agreed that it would be best not to acknowledge it on their site because then all the haters will come after the DMA's and say they have no real meaning or credibility, and godammit I don't want that on my conscience, especially considering everybody who tried to contact North Central Positronics (a fake company) to get me fired (from a fake company). Detroit hustles harder.  So the physical award seen with me in the two photos above is good enough.  Now onto my photo blog.

So, after winning my DMA I volunteered to help take photos at the Tito's Handmade photo area on the red carpet.  I tried looking out for the Jett Plastic record kid to console him because his label didn't win (and to ask him why he blocked me on Facebook), but didn't see Majors....I mean record store kid, sorry.  If he is reading this what I would have said is "Sometimes you need to lose before you take that big leap and win.  There's nothing to be ashamed about being a loser. And for god sakes, stop letting old men take advantage of you just to get free tickets and photo op's".  Sorry, got a little carried away there.  That's for another blog post.  Anyway, the photo blog, comments under the pics:

I searched long and hard to find that Dave Brisbois guy that always shows up at these things, and by proxy, the Kaliedo girl Chrissy Criss.  No luck this year. I guess she exceeded her three hour makeup application protocol and he ran out of coke two hours before the show. So instead I snapped this guy who is a decent replacement.  Y'know, the kind of guy who thinks an outfit like this is a good idea.  I may look exhausted and winded in my pics above, but I would never do that.
Speaking of me, it is an ongoing joke that this guy (who shows up at every DMA's) is my doppleganger.  Sometimes I can see it but not this time.  This time he decided to be a complete dick and come dressed as my ex.  Everybody is officially out to get me.
I don't really have a narrative for this one aside from this is what most people who attend the DMA's think this would be cool to dress up like.  They probably can't wait for Showtime to reopen.  I do think it was cool that AJ Styles was able to make it though even though he wasn't up for an award.
I couldn't resist snapping a shot of Miss Michigan who looks to be a total doff. Not a pass, not a maybe, total doff.  I don't know if she has any experience in music, but I hope she doesn't because that would make her JCM material. I need a new guitarist.
Speaking of passes, I did run into the gals from Hip in Detroit (pictured above) and tried to make peace after all these years.  The talks went nowhere, but I want to let Sadie and the redhead know that I hope that everything is water under the bridge and they are looking, and most importantly, WRITING better than ever.!
I have no idea who either of these people are, but what I can say is that he in no way has a concealed weapon and she was in no way a rental.  C'mon I just take the pictures.
Was very honored to get a snap of Asian Tim Allen (local guy).
I don't know who these people are either, but they're at the DMA's so they must be somebody.  I included this because of the dude-bro's "Yep....deal with it" grin, and the fact his "date" is a total hardbody.  You have to understand, when taking pics at the DMA's it can get quite exhausting taking pictures of relics, or even worse, people dressed like Nikki Sixx, so I need to get my fap material somewhere. Actually is that the Taylor Chevy girl??!! (Its not).  I would like to punch this guy in the face.  Only because of his shirt.
Finally, I thought it was really nice that school shooting survivor turned media whore David Hogg showed up.  Not sure why, but by that point I was like "Lets get the fuck out of here".

Overall, it was a subdued DMA's, but I am glad I went and was able to document it.  Unfortunately there won't be a 2019 edition because

THIS BLOG HAS A SHUTDOWN DATE OF OCT. 8TH, 2018.

Thank you Andy (messenger among other functions).
I'll see ya soon!

From the Iceman Commeth,
Bryan Metro

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is that the guy from Eat this city?

Anonymous said...

It's okay if you gained a few pounds, Metro. Appearance isn't everything. (just ask Hip In Detroit)

P.S. I like your new glasses.

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