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Wednesday, May 23, 2018

The Jimmy Doom Sizzle Reel

Hey all, Metro here. I know the past year or so on the Lavender Blog has been kind of like a cloudy day, with me going on rant after rant about local corruption, sleazebags, and maybe some pedos, and in that year I have forgotten what people started to come here for:  THE LAUGHS!  Knowing that the shutdown date of Oct. 8th is looming, I wanted to try to get back to the roots of the JCM Blog, that being, making you laugh.  And what better way to do that is the Jimmy Doom Sizzle Reel Special.  A sizzle reel is kind of like a greatest hits for actors, singers, etc, but mostly actors.  One of my Constant Readers pointed out that local bartender Jimmy Doom has a Sizzle Reel of his own, and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to post it here.  Now, truth be told, I am not a fan of this dude.  He's a pandering, old, unfunny, sack.  However, since this is the final year of the blog, I would like to make amends and post his Highlight Reel so that people could actually see it. You know, as opposed to nobody seeing it.  At one point he accused me of trying to sabotage his acting career, which was untrue, but because it was on the internet everybody believed so, so I would like to make things right and post Jimmy Doom's Sizzle Reel here so the thousands of Constant Readers can have a chance to see what local, thoroughbred, hometown, regional, neighborhood acting really is. Hopefully this can jump start the acting career that apparently I sabotaged. I've rambled enough.  Here is the Sizzle Reel:
SIZZLE!

At the very least, my hope is that this apologizes for all of the times I have made fun of Jimmy Doom and his acting career.  At the very best, possibly one of my Constant Readers may see this and have a connection and pass it along to somebody making a movie not using a camcorder so that Jimmy Doom can finally catch that big break.  This is me not trying to drag down somebody's acting career, but rather, trying to build it up.  I did take a moment to look at his IMDB page, and usually "shorts" don't count because that's what people use to bloat...emphasis on bloat, their resumes, but I will include them in my next observation.  Here are some of Jimmy Doom's leading roles:
Biker Bill
The Hooded Man
Paper Man
Hillbilly
Homeless Man
Death Face #1
Sid Seizure
Scruff
Shadowy Man
Inbred Savage
Tugboat Captain
Narrator
and, Gus.

It has always been this way, especially these days, for those fuckers in Hollywood to typecast somebody and not let them show their true talents, and frankly I am sick and tired of it.  I hope that the national exposure my blog gets helps the evolution of this career.  I want to see roles such as:
Professor #1
Deli Worker
The Vet Tech
Bill the Vegetarian (Gangs of New York knockoff)
Transgender Bartender
Famous Musician #2
Elementary Teacher With a Heart of Gold
Dennis Miller in biopic
Bob Seger in tribute band for Roadhouse remake
Scientist

Of course all the haters will say Hollywood needs character extras....errrr actors, but I want this flower to bloom, and hopefully I did my part today, so I will close the book on the Jimmy Doom saga.  It was a hoot while it lasted.


From the Iceman Commeth,
Bryan Metro


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are a professional prick. But I must say Bill the Vegetarian is the funniest thing you've posted all year.

Bryan Metro said...

I resemble that remark. Thanks for reading, but please let me get back to my latest project: Blogger #1

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