Out now on Checkers Records Collective, the new LP by JCM, "The Fall of Bryan Metro".

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Monday, September 4, 2017

Monday Ham/Det Labor Day Coverage!

*UPDATE*-  The Gbe's Bad Dye Job site was reported as being profane (had to grab my dictionary) and has since been taken down.  It has been replaced by Lee's Talent Search 

Metro here! Alright, to everyone who said I did nothing regarding any type of coverage for the Hamtramck Labor Day Fest, and that I was "boring", well I give you this.  And don't fluff yourselves for thinking you made me do it.  It was the plan all along.  But first, let me re-post my verbiage from the last post:

"And this is me at my most genuine....if you are a band playing then you are responsible to promote yourself to get as many people out as possible. I know many friends who depend on their vending pop-up's for income and it pisses me off that so many bands feel so entitled.  And I don't mean a lazy re-post of a flier or even a youtube clip, or a FB message saying "Hey come check us out!".  You need to sell yourselves, and from the pictures I've seen, that didn't happen this weekend. Say what you will about the JCM, there is no debate that we didn't sell the shit out of whatever show would take a chance on us, and we always delivered from 3 Blowouts to the 1st HamFest; people were there.  Some wanted to see what would happen, some to maybe take a shot at the title but pussed out, but people were there.  I don't see that today.  Its just the Chad Brown Band looking to pick up their next gimmie handout. Now that statement is not "boring", that is the truth.  Blowout is toast, HamFest is on the ropes, Labor Day Fest is up in the air.  Why am I the only one who has been able to make this connection.  Ship these committees out of town.  Old men......"

Okay, I was buzzed and agitated, but still...
Monday I decided to hit up the Tigers game to test out my Gabe's Bad Dye Job disguise and then the Labor Day Fest in the hopes of seeing Tunde Olaniran because when I think of Hamtramck, I think of Tunde, who may have the record of "most pushes in the local music scene without catching on" (2nd place Prussia/Jamaican Queens, or whoever they're calling themselves these days).  But then I saw that Tunde was playing at 9pm and it crashed my plans.  First off, I'm not waiting 5 hours after the game for that,  Second off, who is going to be sticking around at 9pm on Labor Day Monday after a weekend-long Fest?  I need to people watch, and Bankrupt House Media and their cameras do not count.  Finally, a 9pm Tunde show guarantees that all of the food tents will be empty and all out of kielbasas.

However, after the Tigers game, I made the call to hit up the Labor Day Fest.  I did want to catch the Tunde set because he was the biggest act playing Monday, but time was against me.  Because of threats made against me, I was forced to go in disguise as Gabe's Bad Dye Jobson. To any new readers, my alter ego sexually harassed a JCM friend on social media asking her "Who in JCM are you fucking?" (Answer=none=Ooops).  And then he took down the post like a total pussy and proceeded to drop out of this year's Hamtramck Music Fest to play at UFO Factory (RIP) because of some halfwit named Laura Rock (great name....if you shop at Showtime).  Anyway, here's this chump.

To be honest, I have no idea if Bad Dye Job Gabe is even affiliated with the Labor Day Fest, nor in any way do I insinuate that he is.  He just happened to be the best disguise I had available because nobody knows who he is anyways.  And he made a mistake, and he pissed me off.  He made an enemy.. Jump cut to:

Labor Day- I woke up late (of course) and arranged for a ride to the Tigers game and Labor Day Fest because I had already had dressed up in my Bad Dye Job costume and did not want to risk another hit and run episode, especially if I got pinched portraying somebody else.  I also decided not to call Asia Mock for a ride (obviously) because I actually wanted to get to the events in one piece.  I'm guessing the Asia Suck Uber service is not publically traded (inside jokes).  Okay to the actual revue:

Here is Old Empire Metro at the game!!!

After the game, Bad Job Metro made it to the Ham Labor Day Fest and tried to hit up as many artisans and foodies paying (who?) to sell their wares.  Here's a cuppa pics....
That's the 4pm slot where an act was removed to "fake complaints".  I did see Lee Majors floating around but he did a '180 and headed for the hills.  I missed out on an interview...
I then felt the "heat" starting to pile up so I did my method acting Gabe impersonation and played "Rocky Raccoon" for a couple Muslim kids.  When that didn't work, I went full on Brando and impersonated Lee impersonating Gabe trying to give a cuppa bucks to some Muslim kids.

Next I was off to find out exactly where he ran off to.  Fuck.  Hit a roadblock.  Just as I got to the kids area, this happens...

Wandered back to band area...

Started to get winded so I decided to split and miss the storm/Tunde show.  I did spot Lee and Woodcock though discussing who....I mean where to eat after. It was, all in all, a good time.

Last night, I did catch Channel 7's coverage of the Fest.  They actually said "dozens of people".  I'm not making this up!  This is like the Anti-Trump of rhetoric.  Can we please get the people running these things out of town ASAP. I mean that in terms of who booked the musical acts, which are a big draw to these fests, if you do it right.... Even funnier, was me seeing that multiple acts played both the Hamtramck Labor Fest and Arts, Beats, and Eats this weekend.  If you gave a shit about your local community you would promote yourself, sell the event, and stick to your guns.  Nope.  Not here.... "Dude", "Polish Muslims", and "Kubat, Finlay, and Nobody" look to have doubled down on crowd apathy this weekend.

In closure, I tried to collect as many local artists/craftsmen/foodies I encountered and will list them here.  THESE are the people that could use your support. Not the 4th Craig Brown Band attempt at getting over....


- National Suicide Prevention 1-800-273-8255
- Steven Vincent Posters
- House of Renata
- Expressions Body Art
- Jodi Lynn's Emporium of Doodles
- Showcase Hamtramck Design
- Lost in Sound
- Traveling 8-Ring Apothecary
- Bon Bon Bon
- October Academy

There ya go!  In 3 minutes I listed 10 vendors that none of the promoters or music acts gave a rub to.

Once again these are the independent vendors that were at the Fest that none of the promoters or acts playing bothered to promote, and can use your money.  These are the people to support.  And to the local acts that I have laid off on because you are on my friend list yet turn a blind eye towards all the crap and corruption in this scene, just so you can hop on to the next show, look in the mirror, say "That's me", step it up, or else the next post will be about you.  You know who you are. Punk rock Detroit?  Hardly...

From the Iceman Commeth,
Bryan Metro


Anonymous said...

As usual. Metro shuts it down. Man this post was so boring.

Anonymous said...

Is that a Jack Burton tank top???? Badass

Bryan Metro said...

Yes it is. Also, some puss-mist reported my FB link of this blog as somebody who is considering suicide. Listen poofs, I've been doing this for 10 years, and been to so many events, today including, where anybody could have a dialogue with me. Its never happened. People bitched here saying I would never show. I did....silence.

Anonymous said...

Can't wait for your update when a friend of Lee's confronts you to explain that he's a cool cat.....then walks away with a tampon out of his ass....


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