Out now on Checkers Records Collective, the new LP by JCM, "The Fall of Bryan Metro".

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Friday, September 8, 2017

Cliff Notes-Metro Times-Race Bait

Okay so its Friday so I may have to phone this one in.  Metro here.  As on schedule, Metro Times posted their daily anti-Little Caesar's Arena, anti-Kid Rock, anti-white mayor post.  I won't post the link to it here because it immediately takes you to a Jack Daniels mandatory pop-up ad (for the 80% of people who don't use Adblocker) which gives them instant $$.

I swear the main dude there (I've given up trying to figure out who that is anymore) had to have sent out a memo to their staff writers.  I have managed to find a rough draft of that memo and will post it here.  This is a rough draft and in no way was ever sent to the staff.  This is my way of saying its satire for the idiot Constant Readers:

"Hey everyone, drop your linen and start your grinnin'.  Its your Editor in Chief.  We have nabbed a pretty good deal with some ad people and need to step up on our internet hits.  The weekly mag is covered via the hydroponic revenue, but the online traffic is dwindling.  If that keeps up we may have to cancel Blowout. Anthony Morrow, JSB, and CJohnst don't come cheap y'know.  So here's the deal.  I need everybody to step it up with your click-bait articles.  Bring up race, the city, the dreaded "white male" demographic (present editor excluded).  Do what you have to do.  Jack Daniels has signed on to have a pop up ad for every article clicked which means more money for me....NO, us.  Sorry.  Too much Starbucks today. Quick tangent, at least my barista was a female minority today so I didn't feel thaaaat guilty.  Okay back to the matters at hand.  Click bait articles up the azz.  I need at least one article about Little Caesars Arena/Kid Rock per day.  MINIMUM!  Also, for anybody on the staff who fancies themselves an actual journalist don't even think about bringing up that UFO Factory bust-up that everybody was talking about a few weeks ago.  That has officially been swept under the rug, mitts were greased, and the general public does not need to know about any type of resolution.  The venues did their "charity" shows and we all move on.  So fuck off on that.  Jack Daniels is waiting people. This is the time for all of you writers who think they will have a career in....uhhh writing to step up to the plate.  I'm looking at you Violet.  One article per day on all the talking points listed above.  I won't bother to edit them for facts, just post them.  The log on password is "RealDetroit" (case sensitive).  Get to work!"

Whew, what a read!  The "Violet" in question is Violet Ikonomova, the writer who seems to have a hard on against the Little Caesars Arena and by proxy, the Kid Rock thing.  Let me preface my opinion by saying I'm not the biggest Kid Rock fan in the world.  As far as the arena being partially funded by taxpayers, well it happens.  It actually happens everywhere.  The rich get richer, and all that jazz.  But it does create jobs, and it does create overflow revenue for other local businesses, many of whom pay to advertise with the Metro Times (especially during Best of Detroit season).  As for Violet.  She's just doing her mandated job I guess, poorly, but still doing her job because she's now on my radar.  Oh, almost forgot, here's her MT profile:
Violet's MT profile
And here is her FB.  Its public so no worries of any privacy issues, plus it has bonus content of her posting her own articles with added "spice"
Violet's FB profile
Basically she should just team up with the Seraphine Collective and take down all the corruption in the city (no UFO Factory tho...) and then Detroit will be such a better place.  Well, until their collective loft in Corktown is broken into.

That's it everyone for this week.  Have a safe weekend.  I will not be standing for the national anthem for NFL Week 1 however.  Because I'll probably still be asleep. Have a good one!


From the Iceman Commeth,
Bryan Metro

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

When did this place get so damned entertaining again??

Anonymous said...

Kill Whitey!! If you don't like appropriation stop eating food. People are living in a bubble . This is how trump got into office.

Anonymous said...

Violet is fine AF! I'll read anything she writes.

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