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Friday, July 28, 2017

Farewell to the Joe- A List

Metro here, checking in on the eve of the very last event (hockey, concert, other) Ever at the iconic Joe Louis Arena.  There have been so many memorable moments at JLA so its fitting (for my purposes) that the very last event is going to be a WWE live event Saturday July 29th, 2017 (the anniversary of my Pops' passing; he hated the Joe, "Those goddamn stairs".)  So, I have postponed my "big announcement" to next week so I can bring back the Lavender Blog fan-favorite "The List"!
I have compiled my list of top WWE moments from the Joe and am ready to share them with you here along with anecdotes if I was actually there.  Members of the JCM extended family will be in attendance for the show tomorrow, and I will be exclusively covering it for multiple national wrestling publications.  Yes, I know that my specialty is music journalism (the non-Jeff Milo kind), but we here at the Lavender Blog have always dipped our feet into other realms of pop culture.  Why, just the other day, band booster Kentucky Pete and I have already started plotting what we were planning on stealing from the arena.  K. Pete:"I'm going to cut a swatch from a seat."  Metro:"Seats aren't padded there dude.  I'm going for a urinal cake from one of the infamous restroom's Piss Troughs."  On that note- A List!

Metro's Top WWE Moments at Joe Louis Arena

Honorable Mention- Halloween Havoc 1995-  This couldn't make the main list because, technically, it was a WCW ppv.  However, it did feature a monster truck battle on top of Cobo Hall which ended with Hulk Hogan accidentally on purpose tossing The Giant (Big Show) over the roof of Cobo effectively killing him (more on this trend later).  The Giant ended up returning for the main event which saw the debut of "The Yeti", a 7 foot jobber dressed as a mummy, whose finisher was the "Dry Hump".  If you would have told me in 1995 that in a few years WCW would be out of business I would have asked you to buy me a six-pack because I was underage at the time and that THIS IS AWESOME!

10.  Final Monday Night Raw March 2017-  One of the last Raw's before Wrestlemania, THE last Raw at the JLA, and the last time The Undertaker's music/gong played in Detroit (though he didn't actually show up).

9.  Final PPV ever-Night of Champions 2013-  To this day, I have no idea why I didn't go to this.  On paper, the card was weak, but it ended up being CM Punk's last appearance in Detroit and featured a Daniel Bryan world title win.

8.  Final Show Ever-July 29th, 2017-  Dude, final show ever!  The very last event at the Joe Louis Arena, and I'm not making the same mistake as #9 up there because its probably Brock Lesnar's last fight in Detroit as his contract is up next year.  Word is Brock requested this appearance which is bold because his buddy Daniel Corimer is fighting Jon Jones that same night at UFC 214.  Brock is fighting Samoa Joe, whose crowd chant is "Joe's gonna kill youuu" which is also fitting because the "Joe" Louis Arena's parking structure and arena steps very well may kill me.

7.  Royal Rumble 2009-  I'm always complaining to friends about how they've never done a Royal Rumble in Detroit.  I had no idea this existed.  Shows you where I was in 2009.

6.  Rock vs. Stone Cold on Belle Isle Bridge 1999-  The Rock and Austin actually engaged in a brawl on the Belle Isle Bridge during an event at the JLA that ended in an attempted murder.  I'm seeing a trend here.

5.  Survivor Series 1999-  This event has three notable notes.  First, it was Kurt Angle's (HOF) debut on TV.  Second, this was Big Show's (Giant) first WWE title win (signed my ticket stub).  Third, somebody ran over Stone Cold in the parking garage, which brings me to this tangent:  This is like the 3rd or 4th time a sports entertainer has almost been killed at a Joe Louis Arena event.  It seems very fishy.  Was Undertaker driving Konstantinov's limo???

4.  NWO vs. Rock/Austin 2002-  This makes the list just based on star power alone.  Hogan/Hall/Nash (though diminished by time) versus Rock and Austin....at a TV taping!!  I unfortunately could not make this show because I spent the fuck money on tickets to WrestleMania later that month in Toronto where I got a handjob from the gal I was seeing in the 300 section of the SkyDome during the Diamond Dallas Page/Christian match so it worked out okay.

3.  Shane McMahon's Return 2016-  I made it to this one.  It was very bananas with nobody expecting Shane to come back to WWE after years.  They always bring out surprises for the Joe shows and I will be looking for cameras at a non-televised event this Saturday.

2.  Taker's first title Survivor Series 1991-  How I was not at this show I will never figure out.  I was at Wrestlemania 3 in 1987 for god sakes.  Thankfully Pop's sprung for the ppv.  One of the certified historic moments in JLA history.

1.  Stone Cold and a Zamboni-  I was at this one and to this day, it was the loudest crowd reaction I have ever experienced.  Stone Cold nearly killing half the production crew backstage attempting to drive the iconic Joe Zamboni to ringside, only to drive it into the ring, causing it to shift (zero fucks given)....well that's #1.  Undertaker and Kane were also on point that show "breaking" Vince's leg with the steel steps.

So thats my list.  Hope you enjoyed memory lane.  I know I did and it was fun to write.  This list's for you Pops, and I'm sure you'll be hovering around in an other world than this on Saturday still bitching about the stairs at JLA.
Tunde in next week for that big announcement.

From the Iceman Commeth,
Bryan Metro


Anonymous said...

More like these please. Thanks.

Bryan Metro said...

A positive comment??? You're on the wrong blog. But I will try just because you asked nicely.


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