Out now on Checkers Records Collective, the new LP by JCM, "The Fall of Bryan Metro".

Listen To This Now!!!!

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Local Music Update

Metro here,

I cannot wait for this phony "alt-country" local band bullshit that is being shoved down everyone's throat these days (Craig Brown Band, I'm looking at you midget) to just go away.  It's cloying and boring.

This has been your local music update.

From the Iceman Commeth,
Bryan Metro

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel bad for the crickets who died on this blog.

Bryan Metro said...

Thousands of views a week. Shook my hand. Plus this is really the only local music blog that posts opinions along with an open forum to comment rather than copy and pasting press releases or cupcake interviews. Plus I was bored and had an afternoon buzz yesterday. They all can't be home runs my friend. Thanks for reading!

Bryan Metro said...

Plus if the comment thread would have lit up that would mean that people actually care about the Craig Brown Midget Revue, which obviously they don't. Dropped from Third Man by 2018, calling it now.

Anonymous said...

THOUSANDS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

there is something going on in town that could get people to pay attention to your blog again and create all kinds of hilarious chaos but you haven't found it and probably won't

when that doesn't happen i'm going to laugh at you

Bryan Metro said...

I see through your lies. Trick question. Nothing is going on in this town. And who made me de-facto dude to call out crap? Things fall into my lap and I run with them. Sometimes it causes chaos and sometimes it doesn't. I have a pretty good batting average though. I originally started this blog as a music blog, then it turned into a pop culture blog with the lists and stuff (don't worry constant THOUSANDS readers I will have the old posts up soon), and now I am in the don't give a fuck phase. Anyone who has any info, bs, stuff they want made public but can't because of social media feel free to e-mail me at bryanmetro1@hotmail.com and once Savage Henry verifies it I'll run with it. God knows the Milo Show won't.

Anonymous said...

THOUSANDS!!!!!!!

Bryan Metro said...

THOUSANDS, every week. Open your eyes. I have been starting/finishing shit since 2007 here (Fear not constant readers I will have my old posts up soon; they're all saved). In my 10th year I changed the entire landscape of the Hamtramck Music Festival with multiple bands being removed, entire venues dropping out, the HMF committee going into hiding, Gabe Dodson to get perhaps the worst dye job in human history, the Ben's Encore scam charity to shit themselves and start keeping (or trying to) legal tax filing, allowing the nitwits at Seraphine Collective to have a platform to whine about shit that kept public interest for exactly 9 years and 11 months less than I have (you're still reading aren't you, just one of the THOUSANDS), and predicting the Craig Brown Band will be dumped by Third Man sooner than later. That's a decent track record for 2017 and its only April. Now I'm guessing you follow the local music scene or else you wouldn't be commenting. What have you done? Maybe you should just.......Follow the buzzards. Hi-FI-BRY

Anonymous said...

"Gabe Dodson Bad Dye Job" needs its own twitter handle/FB fan page

Anonymous said...

THOUSANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bryan Metro said...

Yepp, I'd post a screen cap of the figures from Google Analytics but I'm working on the Dye Job request. Also, I knew that would be your response twerp. Lame, boring, I'm bored.

Anonymous said...

BILLIONS!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

i heard that craig browns penis ended several marriages in '07.

Bryan Metro said...

Dude's been around forever. Went nowhere (full disclosure- I like the Terrible Twos). Not gonna happen. Third Man made a mis-step giving them the big push. Should've skewed younger. Maybe Rosenbloom has the right idea after all, ya know what I sayin'? Also here is your fan page constant THOUSAND readers:

https://www.facebook.com/bretjanny

Anonymous said...

Funny page, but what's the story behind the sexual harassment stuff?

Anonymous said...

i would post the google analytics but i ain't got the time or skill to photoshop them

Bryan Metro said...

I am disregarding the last comment because they know they're wrong (see previous comment about how much change was caused by me; people still read me), and will address the sexual harassment stuff.

Back when the Hamtramck Music Festival crap went down along with the Ben's Encore charity scam, I was the only one to point it out while everyone else just turned their heads (or pulled out to be social justice Seraphine Warriors and have their own set). None of this would have happened if it wasn't for my shit starting. By this time the band had dissolved but still had some supporters. One person, a female, saw through the lies and defended me. Gabe Dodson took to Facebook and asked her which member of JCM she was fucking. If that's not sexual harassment I don't even know. He quickly deleted it and a week later was hopping on to the "End Rape Culture" bandwagon (probably because of Laura Rock or whoever that is or else he wouldn't have posted it to begin with). I just don't understand how he had the time to sexually harass a friend who did nothing to him and then join the "rape culture" movement in between bad dye jobs. So, G.D. go fuck yourself

Anonymous said...

i'm important!!!!

THOUSANDS!

Bryan Metro said...

So you are more concerned with page hits (which are accurate) rather than sexual harassment. No worries. I already have your IP and will soon post who you are. LIVE FOR THE THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF READERS. Twerp.

Anonymous said...

are you struggling with impotency? it sounds like you are struggling with impotency.

Bryan Metro said...

I take back the last comment. I made a promise not to release real names from the comments and I will stick to it. So, that's that. So moving on, you cool with sexual harassment? You cool with the Dye Job page? So exciting!

Anonymous said...

not cool with it

indifferent.

Bryan Metro said...

Okay, putting all this internet crap behind......WHAT COLOR WILL BE NEXT????????

Anonymous said...

impotency mentioned, subject changed.

Bryan Metro said...

You think I care about that? There is no way a son I would sire could shoulder the burden of covering the local music scene in 2020. I don't even have that type of confidence in myself. Unrelated......wanna fuck?

Bryan Metro said...

Also, do you want to create a Yahoo chat room so we can continue this courting so my THOUSANDS of weekly readers don't have to be subjected to this..

Anonymous said...

but this is why you have THOUSANDS OF READERS!


Anonymous said...

I want to know the latest local scandal anon, spill.

Bryan Metro said...

There is none I'm guessing and if there is its probably more of the same money grubbing crap.

Anonymous said...

it's not a scandal. nobody ever said that. it's just blatant hypocrisy that someone with their finger on the pulse of whatever is going on around town should be able to figure out quickly. basically 'you all got upset because you thought that was bad, but nobody cares about THIS?'

i'll come back and let metro know all about it 12-24 hours before it goes down. with his THOUSANDS of readers, that should be plenty of time to create outrage and fun.

Bryan Metro said...

There are some things that I have been monitoring but not gone public with because I only do that when I have personally verified it. Case in point the White Shag/Seraphine Collective hatchet job (verified via IP's), the Ben's Encore not being a registered non-profit for three years thing (verified via government websites), Gabe's bad dye job (verified in person), Asia Mock being a retard (via comment section). But I can't/won't post anything unless it is verified. The thing I'm working on now is related to a local record store. And shouldn't "creating outrage and fun" be left to the local music scene? Its as boring as its been in a decade. I can do only so much.

Anonymous said...

verified via Eye Pee Addresses! priceless sleuthing!

Bryan Metro said...

C'mon. Why not focus on the bad dye job? Do you know how long it took me to set up that account?? Show some respect.

Panharith said...

WHAT COLOR WILL BE NEXT????????



ทางบ้าน

Jukebox