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Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Bryan Metro's Hamtramck Music Fest Schedule

Well, you wanted it, and now you have it.  It is Bryan Metro's schedule for where he will be at the Scamtramck Music Fest.  It's almost time.  Forget the IRS allegations and the unaccounted money and the phantom committees, and Disney pissed about Carrie Fisher being on all the promotional material (t-shirts and the music sampler), and Eugene Strobe, and how Bank Suey and Planet Ant Hall are blood connected with people connected to the committee/board (oh wait....we haven't gotten to that part yet)....sorry, getting ahead of myself here.  Here is what you are really waiting for!!!!!

Bryan Metro's HamFest Schedule

I admit, I have been a little shit this whole time, but I do intend on attending the Fest.  I only hope the 20% of my wristband benefits needy kids in Detroit instead of Frasier (based on the numbers released of where the money went.......oh wait, we haven't gotten to that part yet)!  But hope is what it is and I can only hope that my $10 benefits the committ.......I mean the kids out there and their musical aspirations.  Ok...Prevue:

Thursday

Everybody knows I don't attend "pre-parties" where everybody can slap themselves on the back and get their band packages.  The last pre-party I attended was in 2010 and ran into JRC who asked "Are you with a different girl every time?"  Anyway this year's pre-party is a pass.  Hangrenades?????  Not gonna happen.  And Carjack booked to headline playing the same show since 2009 to free him up to take shitty photos using that stupid...fucking....camera filter he has been using since 2009.  Heads up....I won't be at this show......

Friday 

Lac La Belle- 7:30 at Ham Library-  They impressed me on my Fest prevue.  What? You want more?
-  There is a significant gap here.....

Duende-  10pm at Planet Ant Hall.  Yeah yeah, I know, this is the venue they are trying to shove down everyone's throats; connected with Bank Suey, brother sister, blah blah, but I do like Duende, even though the drummer proved herself to be a blind nitwit in all the build-up.  Still, won't miss Duende.

Arc Pelt-  10:30 at Paychecks-  1st of three George Morris sets of the Fest. OH MY GAWD!!!!!

11:15-  The Dilemma.....-  Craig Brown Band at Painted Lady or Cosmic Light Shapes at Metro Pub-  Okay so how weren't we booked at Metro Pub to begin with.  This shit writes itself.  Okay, in all honesty the hype train behind the Craig Brown Band has already derailed and all the promo pump Third Man Records did amounted to nothing.  On the other hand, here we have Cosmic Light Shapes, a band fronted by one of the committee members who has put himself on every Festival when he's not deferring expenses.  Wow....Flip a coin, and I'll be there.....

The Idiot Kids- 11:45- New Dodge-......more on this later....

Odd Hours- 12:15- Metro Pub-  Whatever you do, DO NOT GET IN THE WAY OF THE CAMERA CREW TAKING PICTURES........AND PLEASE DO NOT GET IN THE WAY OF TUNDE.....muthafuckas be flattened.

George Morris & the Gypsy Choads- 12:45- New Dodge-  Wow, New Dodge really got a lot of big acts on Day 1...may have to look into that too (spoiler alert:they're clean).  However, George Morris always sucks, and since this is the last set of the night....good way to fall asleep..


Saturday

Hamtramck Pubic Library- 3:30- Beginning songwriting.  4:30- Youth open mic (or "mike" is you're Asia), 5:30- Maples Elementary -  Okay I think it is my civic duty to work the door at these events to keep Lee Majors far far away from these kids.  Going after their dreams only to be a hanger on.......ekkkkkk nope.

Six and the Sevens- 10:15- Bakers Streetcar-  I would love to have a convo with members of this band and their opinions on the Fest.  Because their names are all over it (the actual documents which are in a very safe place....I'm actually sad about this)

Golden Torso- 11:30- Paychecks-  Just for fun.  Wusses.

Red Robe- 12- PLAV #6-  I kind of want to see what the band that replaced the band replaced my band has to offer.  Whatever happened to W.O.M.B.  You suckers really do suck.  At least people know now.
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Sunday

All you can eat at the PLAV Brunch.  $8 (while supplies last).  Your best bet would be to get there before Sadie.  Fuck off here's your preview.

Yeah buzzards,
Bryan Metro


9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nicely done. Eagerly awaiting more!

Anonymous said...

I guarantee that the committee just wants this week to be over....

Anonymous said...

Holy shit hahaha. On point as always.

Anonymous said...

Odd Hours will take an hour to set up lights, so factor that into your schedule. But there is a good chance you will see Natasha's tits, so get your camera ready. She is a horrible person, so that is really the best you can ask for.

Anonymous said...

@5:35 If that's the best that anyone can ask for from her...

Anonymous said...

She "pushes the envelope" by not wearing a bra and doing whatever shitty coke random people offer her. She usually just looks unkempt and drugged out. I am not impressed. She has burned every bridge she had in Detroit and everyone who books her (along with Jeff Milo) are fucking clueless.

Bryan Metro said...

See....this is what happens when I open up comments as an open forum. You should be ashamed....

Anonymous said...

I push the envelope by calling out bitches on their shit.

Bryan Metro said...

Glad to have an open forum around here...

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